Paul Prins

The other night I was fortunate enough to be invited to go to the NBA game 3 of the LA Lakers and the MN Timber wolves. Now we got slaughtered 120 to 90 but the experience of going to the game is still a great one to experience. It takes me back to long before I was born, sitting there in the bowl looking around at everyone yelling at the people running.

I could only imagine the days of the gladiators and the roman empire. It is also the same in my mind. Thousands of people yelling at the top of their lungs to people who are fighting for the adoration of the crowd they are surrounded by. Like helpless creatures they fight to make the crowd scream their praises. The people higher up in society tend to play more civil rolls in the drama, while the peasants scream ever obscenity when the player they like screws up. It’s amazing when you think that after almost 3000 years we still have the same instincts to cheer and agonize over. That as a species we haven’t grown to a base appreciation of better things. That when I see the guy standing up and cussing out the team, I could just as easily imagine him wearing a dirty brown toga yelling in Italian to the prisoners fighting to the death for our amusement.

At least now days they don’t end in death, rather a victory or defeat (lives spared).

Now I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy the game, it was fun hanging out with friends and getting to watch the game and crowd.

take care and God bless~paul

So after staying up for 41 hours in a row you really start to see everything differently. Last night was really different for me. I always seem so reserved in my thoughts and what it is that I say but after being awake that long everything just comes out how you really mean it. Teaching myself a lot about how I feel, compared to how I feel around other people. I just wish I could be like that more often and with enough sleep. Well we all have something to shoot for. Mostly thinking about what’s coming up in my life, college, work, summer, skiing, girls, and what I wana do with my life. I wrote some of it down somewhere and don’t remember the rest, I had just done 41 hours of life on about 7 hours of sleep.

I was up because of the church lock-in at EPPC on Friday night. It was a lot of fun, beach volleyball, 4am ultimate Frisbee, watched goonies, and played cards. Around quarter to six I left for home to get my dad and drive to Menomine for the placement tests at stout. That was really pathetic, I felt insulted by how easy the math one was. All of the questions had to have been from geometry and algebra. Maybe a couple from pre-calc but I’m sure I just used the shorter way and that we had learned some insanely long way to do them. Got home from the tests and talked to my mom for a while before leaving to see About Schmiet and the show up at school (which was really good if any of you are reading this). After the show we went to applebees to get dinner and then came home to crash.

Again I’m in this weird spot of wondering how much I should post on here because I honestly duno who reads this. Meh, live you life as you want and don’t ever be ashamed or embarrassed of what you’ve done. That way you’ll never have anything to hide.

Also today is Compassion Sunday so you should all sponsor a kid somewhere. I’ve been sponsoring Oscar for several months now and it’s such a great experience. I think you can get to the compassion website at www.compassion.com

Hello world, I’m about a quarter done with the project I’m working on right now. It’s gonna turn out really well I know, even though it isn’t totally what I agree with, at least it’ll be helping to get people involved in politics and their gov’t. Which is something I think everyone can agree upon. The video will probably end up in my portfolio once it’s done if they will let me put it there.

I’m over the idea of trying to find anyone to go out with in HS. It just seem so hopeless, especially with college so soon. It’s more or less me just looking for someone to be sweet to while I’m in this mood and feeling this vibe. I’ll just stick to writing stuff out and making lists of stuff I can do later. Someday someone will appreciate it that way.
Also I only have one day of Calculus left!!! So that’s pretty exciting, I’m going to help teach a computer illustration class. That’ll be a lot of fun. I miss teaching like I did last year and last summer.

Well I’m going to get back to work so I’m not up all hours of the night finishing this project up. Gotta get to bed early today since I have the church lock-in tomorrow night and then placement testing for UW stout on Saturday morning at 8 am!! Tara I’ll see you at 6, so you better be awake.

Take care and God bless ~Paul

So Alex and I went to the school board meeting tonight. It was pretty boring, they had some presentation of some music software that was pretty sweet. I was jealous of what the kids starting in the program now had access too. As well, there were some thanks given out by the board to a student and some ladies who gave kids food. The highlight of the night had to be sitting by principal Dr. Sommers, after dealing with what happened with my USC application he’s made an effort to say hello, and the off handed jokes he made about them working. At one point the board screwed up with what they wanted to do with one of the topics of the meeting and had to re-call and revote the subject. To what Sommers replied, “it’s a wonder anything ever gets done here”. Last person you would expect that from. It was great.

Easter was yesterday, I should have written but I was to bored being bored to think of something to do like write, not to mention that I was having a hard week spiritually, although I guess it comes with the holiday. My weekend was all right, I had hoped to do something with carissa since it’s been a while since we’ve hung out but all our plans fell through. That’s alright though, I’ll see if she’s game for something next weekend. I really duno how I feel about her, she’s one of the coolest people I’ve ever gotten to know. She’s been acting weird the last two days, so I hope that she doesn’t stop talking and hanging out with me. Because that would really suck.

At school everything seems to just be going to slow. I won’t complain though, I have a lot of project deadlines coming up, sasa this week, church in about three weeks, and a couple smaller ones in between here and there. Well that’s life in short. I’ll try to start written more frequently from now on.

take care and God bless ~paul
p.s. Shorty you rule!!

I used to always get caught day dreaming, at baseball games, at school, church, home, while we would be driving on road trips. So I guess thinking I was dreaming now shouldn’t have been that big of a suprise.

——————–
Do you ever dream,
then realize your eyes
have
been open
the whole time?

That world of fantasy
is nothing but truth,
the air,
really
is this sweet.

The girl you’ve dreamt
of is really there,
realizing,
with a
touch of her hair.

and

you should hold tight
to the hug she gives,
let
her know,
what this dream is.

Tell her your imagination
Couldn’t make someone better.

don’t let go.

How appealing is the idea? Just take a moment and think of what you have to do in the next few years of your life. You are nothing right now, living in the shadows your parents’ cast over you and soon the harsh light of the world will shine down on you. Some high school seniors are in a position to go to college for another four years, others for two, giving them more time to mold that image they have for themselves in their mind. If you were to talk to any senior in high school I think you would find some consistent feelings among them. Feelings I couldn’t understand until I was there myself, the uncertainty, fright and sense of impending loss, also accompanied by longing and excitement for what is coming next.

Going over the basic philosophies of the right and left this struck me. A large portion of students have no idea what they want to do with their life or if they do know, aren’t sure that after four years of college will still have the same motivation as they do now in that field. The left holds to the idea that we should all support each other, that the rich should supply the poor, strong support the weak, and so on. All very valiant thoughts and ideals in my mind. However most of them, given the chance to move up, to get further along in life and elevate there status above where they currently site or the status of their parents, they would take it in a heart beat. There is uncertainty involved with any risk, uncertainty that demands someway for people to cope. That way is liberalism. The crutch that will allow people the comfort of being able to reach for their dreams without certain demise, the idea that if you fall people will be there to catch you. My question for you is this, in a free society, like we have here in the states, you have the “freedom to pursue happiness” and with that, freedom to become utterly miserable. Every choice you make in your life you should have to answer too.

My life is just about to become uncovered; I’m scared that over the past several years I haven’t prepared myself enough. That when the sun reaches me I will dry up while those around me take root and flourish. The difference between the left and me is that if I fail, I will pick myself up, have friends dust me off and get back in the game.

Wow I’ve had an action packed weekend… To kick things off I didn’t drive to boyne because the jones boys couldn’t make it (Justin at work and Chris had the ACT) and I wasn’t going to drive 14 hours on my own. I would go crazy along the way. Then Sunday after Sunday school my car died, the starter just quit on me. So got that towed and taken care of (it’s sitting good in the driveway now though). Started a new quarter today at school, it was alright. Gov’t is going to be amusing, My dad might come in when/if we watch bowling for columbine because that piece of trash moore made it. God must have a sense of humor when he makes people like him.

For those of you that don’t know I didn’t get accepted to the University of Southern California and so I will be attending Stout this fall over in the UW system. Go Wisconsin. I’m a little disappointed just because I thought I was more then good enough to get in out there at USC but apparently I’m not HQ enough for them. Their loss anyway. I’m ready to really push my artistic and creative side come this fall at stout. Hopefully rooming with Ned and we’ll really push each other to new limits.

Today I had lunch with CD and it was sweet, I went over my plans for the next season and he seemed impressed with everything that I’ve brought upon myself. I have about two/three more years to totally change the face of skiing in the Midwest. That’s not all that much time and I have a lot to do. Just am going to call him tomorrow and have him see what he things about my plans with some time behind him. Might have some insights to help me out. I’ve been so lucky with Line, Smith, Dakine and even Red Bull has really been there more then I thought they would be, If Daniels and/or Mero ever read this, YOU GUYS KICK ASS!! Even though we don’t get much credit behind the scenes like this.

Also got MidwestSkier.com back online this past weekend, that was quite the feat, and some parts still aren’t working totally the way they should be but its better then nothing. Gotta start spreading the word now. That’s all I got for now. Gotta go and not do my homework!!

it only takes a second
for our eyes to connect
to spend the night
i’ll never forget
side by side
minutes blow past
with this girl
i’m scared to ask

questions..

which might..

ruin this memory
of her brown eyes and pierced nose
of her red hair and sexy pose
the way she walked
danced so close
how we touched
through our clothes

minutes had elapsed
we parted ways
forgetting to ask
the name
my mystery girl.

Quick week recap, I’m sorry I didn’t have time to write earlier, Wednesday night was the Everclear concert at first ave and I danced with mystery girl from La Cross, Thursday was more or less un eventful, got some work done, Friday I hung out with Jessica. Saturday morning I was up bright and early to ask Britney to prom, and she said yes, later we had some meeting to figure limos and what not out and then I saw Phone Booth (very good movie) with Matt J. That brings us up to today which is Sunday, church day, I was up till 3:30 am this morning working on a video for church, prayed for the youth ministry team after the service and crossroads tonight.

Now what I really wanted to write about.

For those of you reading this, I have battled with the thought of putting this up here. The reason I am is because it’s a major part of who I am now and maybe you’ll read it and understand a bit more about me. The days I’ve come from have been very dark, dark enough to the point where I didn’t want to even look for the light that might be there for me at times. That I tried to kill myself twice, that I’ve spent the majority of my years in high school depressed, spans of time I’ve been so low that I would just pretend to be happy about life. I was sick of answering the questions of are you alright, what’s going on. So I just made it look like nothing was. I wish it was all a dream that I would wake up from, every morning I have to deal with the fact that it isn’t. That those memories of the knife pushing down so hard that I had to bite my lip to keep anyone from knowing, to scared to pull just a little further.

At this point I’m not exactly sure what you’re thinking, if you’re a skier checking this out you’re probably saying, he has everything he could want, sponsors, name recognition, connections. There is more to life then that. If you’re from school and I haven’t told you yet. Sorry but this shouldn’t change anything, I wouldn’t be surprised if 1/4th of the people you know have dealt with depression. Art guys, well yea I guess it’s kind of expected with the territory.

Now let me make my point, for all of my life, up till just over a year ago, I had lived trying to do the best I can. Trying to make a name for myself, and to live life how we all picture it. It wore me out to the point where I could barely hold on. I made it through, and since then I’ve put myself in a position where I’m able to help people because of what it is I’ve been through in the past. That is more rewarding to me then anything else I’ve done. Being able to talk to someone, letting them know what helped me get through, how God was there for me and just the knowledge that it will get better.

If you are having a hard time grasping this idea, just think about it a bit. Have you ever stopped to think why I always will hold the door, or why I’ll be there to help people out, why I talk to so many people at school? Truth be told, I’m still somewhat shy like I was back in middle school. Now I just know the difference that one person can make to someone who is having a hard time. So I challenge you, after reading all of my rant, to do something for someone else, to not be scared to bend over backwards for someone else. Because it will all work out in the end if you keep your faith strong.

take care and God bless ~paul