Paul Prins

So here I am, on the cusp of the end. So close that I can almost taste victory. It seems like for the last four years al I’ve wanted was to be out of here, out of the confines and restrictions that are EPHS but now that I’m standing (well technically I’m sitting) here with the end in sight I’m longing for something. This I never could understand, last year Stefan Turkula told me it was weird and I more or less brushed it off. Thinking that somehow I would be different because I’ve gotten more out of HS somehow. Looking back there are several things I wish I would have done differently. Here is a little list.

• More HS sports
• Started and stuck with Art earlier
• Been in more clubs
• Had a closer group of friends

Not that I am really going to complain, I’ve done things in high school that I know most people will go their whole lives thinking and wishing they had the courage to do that. I mean I started a company in tenth grade, incorporated in eleventh grade and turned a sweet $11.54 profit in the by the third fiscal year. Who knows where it is going. In another four to five years it might be making enough money to support me financially and that would just rule. Who else could say that by the time they graduated college had already formed a company allowing them to live off of it. It would be very gratifying to say the least. It’s even all the sweeter because I love this skiing thing and all the guys and gals that are doing it.

So in the end I don’t have many regrets aside from their being some people I wish I had the chance to get to know better. Of course there are mistakes and things I wish I had seen earlier (mostly in people) that I could have avoided. Those are the things that form us though. Lately I’ve just been in a really reflective position and having really mixed feelings about it. I’m ready for the end, I’m ready to head out to the world, ready to change as much of it as I can grab onto.

take care and God bless,
~paul prins

So if you only had less then 48 hours to finish a book what would you do. So far I’ve read over fifty pages and have a little over two-hundred left to go. Time is pretty limited, and the book is slightly more amusing then watching carpet rot… I should be reading it right now, my mom has been grilling me to keep reading but my mind has been running of late with work. I’m really trying to think of ways to get Midwestskier back to the top of the skiing culture around the Midwest. Where we should be. Makes it hard to get into the Supreme Court and this book that’s dryer then saltine crackers. Other news, the weekend was good but it was nice ot get back to school and see friends today. Went outside during second hour and it was amazing outside. I forgot to grab my grad invites from the car though so I need to remember them tomorrow.

Thursday is also the last grading recognition and advancment meeting, I’m actually going to be taking notes and will post the decisions on here for anyone who is interested in them. Plus it’s my mom’s last day in the Career Resource Centre (CRC) and she wants to go out to lunch so we are going to do that. I just need to make sure that I’m back in time for my committee meeting. I really hope we get something done and that this year wasn’t wasted. Till next time

Take Care and God Bless
~paul prins

HECK YEA, so I just finished typing up my government portfolio and it is very decent (also isn’t due for two days still!!). I now only have one project left to do for High School and I’m done!!! How sweet is that. Wow so that was quite the relief to finally get off my shoulders. Going to have it proof read tomorrow and then print the final copy and put it back into my nifty little portfolio that I got for it. The cover rules as well. Man this just feels great. Well thought I would share that with the world.

take care and God bless~paul prins

I’m writing this because I know that you check this. Because you think that you have it all figured out and that somehow in the end you will end up on top of it all. Have you taken a moment to look around you? Everything is falling apart, you’re world is crumbling and you haven’t done one this but burn bridges to help stop it. To help hold it together you try to elevate yourself above the very people there to help you. I sincerely hope that you figure it out soon because you aren’t going where you want to and you spend all your time looking up. Look around you and look down, because before you can go anyway you must come to grasp where you are and why you are. You spend your days running and hiding from the truth, making and putting up facades to alienate others from yourself. Get over it, God sees right through you to the part that matters. I’m through with you, you know who you are, and I’ve done this before. I haven’t spoken a word to her since the day I left, because to go back would be I condone the action. There is nothing about you I condone, pick yourself up. Prove me wrong, I dare you, or you can run.

I just hope someday you tire.

Take care and God Bless,
~paul prins

(ps. Sorry for 99.99% of you who read this and it doesn’t apply, you know who you are)

It’s hard to believe that it’s already been two year. Today I’m 19, happy birthday. I guess I should state that since the rest of this post will have to deal with that.

Now is a time when I’m gonna open up a little bit more of my personal life to the world. I’m not quite sure why I am, it isn’t the most flattering for me to be posting about. More that I’m just to a point in my life where I can comfortably talk about what has happened in my past and that I’m not ashamed of what I went through and what happened. Like I stated in my opening line, It’s hard to believe that it’s already been two years. In some respects it seems so much longer because I’ve changed so much, while others it seems like just yesterday.

Those of you that don’t know what I’m talking about are probably really confused at this point. Sorry about that, keep reading and it will all make sense in a moment. Two years ago, May 20th 2001, I had it kind of planned out. I was sick of everything and was going to kill myself (this was the second time). I had left home and gone to Kinkos to pick up something, business cards I think and it was raining out. Not just raining but pouring rain. I had to sit in that parking lot for at least a half hour, might have been an hour, just crying about everything. Life was to much at that point. I was being pushed to the brink and didn’t feel like I could take it anymore. I thought through a bunch of different ideas, the first one was to just drive off the 212 bridge onto 494. That flopped when it would have hurt more people then just me. I had more ideas run in and out that I can’t remember until I decided to just go down to the river. At the time I wasn’t sure what I was going to do there but I knew it would be the end of me.

I pulled out of the parking lot and headed in that direction, took a slight detour over to staring lake park where I got out of my car, still crying. Thinking that this way I would be covered in water and people wouldn’t have been able to tell I was crying. All I remember is that the rain was so cold. I got back in my car and started driving with my eyes closed down toward the river. For some reason I opened them and saw the light was red ahead of me at pioneer trail and county rd. 4 so I stopped. I ment to head south to get to the river but decided to go north to church. I had a couple friends invite me and I figured I mine as well go one last time. I showed up right at the beginning, which was quite weird because I somehow spent the better part of four hours since I left for Kinkos and I’m not sure where all the time had gone. The night really wasn’t on anything that I can remember but something clicked with me there. Something that for the past 17 years of my life I had tried so hard to understand just made sense to me.

Then for the first time in a long time I genuinely smiled, I still remember how it felt. It was pure ecstasy and amazement. More then anything I had some hope. I drove down by the river, maybe, and just thought about what I was going to do. I’ve done that several times since then. Somehow just seeing that river now puts in all in perspective for me. I’ve been pushed to the edge twice, I’m not sure which time I was closer. All I know is that for the first time in a long time I am genuinely happy and more or less back to being paul. For everyone that’s been there for me and helped me, thank you.

Take Care and God Bless,
~paul

Wow what a lame kid I’ve been, over a week since I’ve posted in here. Well life is going on, school is going well and I finally got the video for church DONE, the first run anyway. It turned out soooooo well I’m very excited about that. Should be on my portfolio page in a week and I’ll link ya there if you wana check it out on the web.

Ultimate Frisbee was pretty sweet, we were orange this year again but we lost in the first round of the play offs. I really wanted to play the blue team again just because they are fun to loose too. Some how pine came back yesterday to beat us with a couple seconds left. I am still baffled by it but it was a really good game and I played well, and the team did too. It just gets hard when you are playing down a man the whole time and they have a full roster present.

I’m also going to do another ski competition, the Midwest Skier OPEN and this will be my fourth one, again at spirit mountain in Duluth. It’s gonna be fun but I’m really working on getting all the behind the scenes stuff worked out so that it will be less work then last year was, yet still be a more impressive and better run competition. Again I’m going to raise the bar for myself and my staff to put on the best event the Midwest has ever seen. If you are one of those people who likes to plan way far in advance, the dates at February 20-22, 2004. Website should be up mid June.
Take Care and God Bless,
~paul prins

Monday May 5th, 2003 at 2:31 PM

Everyone was telling me not to get my hopes up and that prom was going to be a wash out. Not meet my expectations or visions that I had of it. I guess it worked to my advantage that I had no prior connotations of what the night would be like.

Britney and me had a blast. Got together with a bunch of other people at Scotts around 3, although I was slightly late because I needed a little more then 15 minutes to get ready. Took more pictures than should have been taken and jumped into our rad Limo bus. That was easily the sweetest limo I have ever been inside of, the outside could have looked better but whatever.

We went over to some garden off of lake Calhoun to take some more pictures without all the annoying parents. Took a few in front of this Japanese tree and then again on this bridge under a willow tree. I really liked how those turned out, not to mention the weather was perfect for it.

Got to the dance and found as many people as I could, had dinner which was just alright (although surprisingly good for how many people, 900, they were severing). The dance was a lot of fun, they could have mixed up the music a bit more then just lumping everything together, after 3 rap songs in a row you’re more then ready for something else.

After party is what I thought it was going to be, just sitting around and being lame. Whatever though, I wasn’t in the mood to argue about it because it wouldn’t have done any good anyway. Got about an hour of sleep on the couch before Saturday. Took me a while to get this up here but there ya have it. Prom was a ton of fun, thanks a bunch Britney for letting me going with you. You looked amazing, and sorry for stepping on your dress so much…

Take care and God bless ~paul prins