Archive for January, 2004
Interesting Phone Call
Well needless to say when I made this phone call yesterday I was not expecting the conversation to lean and end this way.
I called up a ski shop I had been working on building a good relationship with and they had asked me to call them back. That they had something I would be very interested in. When I placed the call I was pretty curious as to what this opportunity was going to be.
We started talking and finding out how each other were doing and then we got down to the main point of this conversation. I wanted to know what was such an awesome idea that it warranted a next day call. Needless to say, when I heard what the plan was, I was appalled. Here is how it lays out. They want to host a circuit next season, that’s cool with me and I support that, and they want to include my event!
Let me just break in here for a second before I finish the rest of this conversation. There is no chance that I will allow this event become a part of a series for two reasons. 1) Being the middle part of a series would take away from the scale of an event I want to produce or have produced, the largest part of any circuit or tour needs to be near the end. So why not be the last stop – enter my next reason. 2) To become the final stop of the event would require me to shift the date of my event which would change to many variables that I don’t have control over (weather, snow amounts) as well as moving the event directly into the trade show swing for the snow industries.
Back to the next section of the call:
After digressing and discussing college for a few minutes he came back and told me that if the event was ever to much of a burden that he would take it over for me.
To be honest I almost hung up on him at this point. Seems like a genuine enough gesture, offering to run the event in the future if I can’t. Wrong. This is the one aspect of my company that makes any money, it is the reason that midwestskier even gets looked at. It is the best event the Midwest has going for it because I work so hard for it (despite how much I down play it, about one thousand plus hours go into each event from myself). When I am done with the event there are two possibilities to what will happen with it. The first is that it just stops, the second is that I sell it off to some corporation to use as a marketing tool for their Midwest/Central region.
I know he is trying to do his best for what he sees to be the future of his shop, trying to find another way to bring in revenue because specialty shops are going under all over the place (though some do a very good job of hiding it).
Basically when I am done with MSO (in about three years if not sooner) I will either get what I want for it (which is basically back pay for the 8000+ hours I put in at that point in time) or will pull the plug completely and protect the namesake of Midwest Skier and the event from being copied.
Sorry for being so upset.
Take Care and God Bless,
~paul
The shallowness of you…
I see you walk these halls barely a hallow shell of anything worth realizing. Your smile that hides away the makeshift facade that only fools yourself, which the world around you sees right through to the bare bones that make up all you truly are. Clinging to anything or anybody who might help to hide the emptiness that makes you day-to-day.
I can read into your eyes, filled with so much worry over impending discovery as to what makes up the shallowness of you. Every motion you make only helps to reassure my pretenses over who you really are, who you don’t let the world see, because you’re to scared to wear it for all to witness.
Your kind may come and go, but leave us, those with sustenance, be.
May you discover Gods grace and love,
~paul
Spending so much time…
*I seem to spend so much time looking for a way to start these entries
*Maybe I understand what it is she wants me to be, and realize that I cant be that for her
With the dawn of everyday the procession of opportunity proceeds with their plan. Quickly running and to assure the completion of their tasks. Prepping the scenario prior to our arrival at this place, together
Definition of Beauty
So often in life we pass by what is so eloquent and worth note that our lives seem drained of so much. Sending us wandering, distressed, for the source of what encompasses us. Bringing each of us to a point where we cant see beauty in what is in our presence and seek it from something so distant that, at times, it seems impossible to reach.
The Book Depository
Got back to school and actually had classes today. They all went really well, started out the day with my honors seminar. It will be a fair amount of reading and a little bit of writing, only a hundred-fifty words per class, with three essays (six-hundred words each) entailing the remaining 75% of the grade. Then drawing we only have four projects to do for the semester and that shouldnt turn out to be to rough. Then art history rounds out the t/th classes and its just like last semester and I should do similarly well.
Welcome back to Stout
Im back at school now and its all good. Finally saw ned again today, it was weird to not see him once over break. However I need to be willing to do what he needs, not what it is I desire. I have no idea whats going on or what hes going through and thats something I need to learn to accept. Its hard for me since he was the closest thing Ive ever had to a best friend.
Other then that, it was really nice to get back and see everyone again. Not having classes tomorrow is also a very nice perk, still gotta get over to walmart for a couple things (mainly milk and pop). I hope that everyone is having a great time back at school second semester. Mine is really turning out to be awesome and Im really excited for it (after all it wont be hard to top last semester emotionally).
Lets here a heck yea for over 100 entries, I need to find more to do .
Take Care and God Bless,
~paul
Letter from June 2001
Self Portrait from Summer 2002
Well this is a letter that I hope people find. In no way does it have anything to deal with suicide or any of that…
I am Depressed. I would have written a bigger ‘d’ but I know people that have been lower and I myself have been as well. It just boggles my mind how people don’t want to see what is so obvious. They just always try to blame it off on something else like the computer or skiing. How it makes me a less social person or how the people I’m around are a negative influence on my life. It is mostly my parents. Why can’t they see that they are my biggest problem. I pick up on so much. Hear them talk. It is destroying me. Why can’t they show their love for each other. I’m always hearing my mom’s rant on things she dislikes about dad. How he never fixes anything, doesn’t notice his own health, forgets little things that he should do, how he never calls her to let her know when he’ll be home. But my dad is also giving off signs. The silent moments at the dinner table, inactivity at home, not willing to help around the house.
Could it be ignorance?
Maybe its the fact that Ive spent so much time alone lately and contemplated so much about my life but the more I look into my self the more unsure I am of who this Paul Prins character is. Let me explain.
Why can I not be back there?
I love where Im at in life, I wont deny that. Being able to see the fruits of my labors flourish in front of me more then I ever dreamt they would. Its an experience I hope everyone has once in his or her lifetime. Thats not the aspect I wish was different though. I just feel distant from nearly everyone I meet, part of me believes it to be self-imposed but the more reflection I do the more it seems to be related to my work and the effects its had on me as a person.
My Day
Well I called highline back today, let them know that Im planning on doing a summer project and wont be able to go out there for an internship. I will admit I was slightly nervous doing so, since this is a great opportunity for me. After talking for a minute Dave told me that if I was interested they could get me doing contract work for them next winter. That would be really nice, get some money over winter break as well as some really great job experience in the field I will probably end up in.
For those of you who may be wondering why, then, am I going to school for art. I didnt want to sit through a four year program where I would learn next to nothing that I havent already learned and experienced first hand. Art is a passion of mine and one that, with practice, I could get quite good at and will help to round my abilities.
I talked to Christina today only to find out shes already back at Kansas and we didnt get a chance to catch up with each other over break. It was really nice taking her out for breakfast before we left for college, she is one of the few people who just gets me. When I talk to her it seems like she knows whats going on in my head, when most of the time I feel like people dont have a clue. Sometimes I feel like Ive done to much and even feelings of guilt come up with that as well. Oh well, cant do anything about the past. Can only live for the future.
Take Care and God bless you,
~paul