Letter from June 2001
I will tell you know that when I left there wasn’t much intention of returning. I didn’t know where I would go or what I would do. I was just sick of home. I went to Kinko’s and dropped off my business cards. When I got back into the car I cried. I cried for everything. From my mom, dad, mom and dad, brothers, school, friends. I was in that car crying for a good solid hour and some. Then some song started playing (heck it could have been in my head) about how people need you. That made me think. What would happen to other people if I never came back. I had a car and some money. I could get far. But I decided to think on it, so I drove to staring lake park. I just sat there and looked out over the lake. The rain beating down on the roof. Sitting there I hit an all time low. I just needed something/anything to fill that void. I just decided to drive around aimlessly till I figured out what to do. It was now about two hours since I left (almost 7:00). I don’t remember how I got there but I basically blinked and then when my eyes opened again there was the church. I was very confused as to why I was there. I saw a car drive up and saw Robert get out and walk in. Just then I remembered that it was youth group.
It took so much guts to open that car door to the rain but after it opened I was running to church. When I got to the door I said something like, “I’m here for you lord, please forgive and take me.” I opened the doors and went inside. I don’t know what it was but I felt this feeling come over me, Kicking some old feelings out of me. I couldn’t stop shaking all night. That one night was such an experience for me. I don’t think that a person there knew what had happened (or hadn’t for that case). It meant so much just to praise him, praise You, thank You. I should have said that a while ago but I didn’t. There is probably more to write but there isn’t anything that You don’t already know.
Well I’m onto page four now and running out of stuff to write about. Right now in my life I am hoping that my crush and me will start to go out. I’ve had the biggest crush on her since 2nd quarter when I first met her. She is so amazing. I’m just worried that she’ll think I used You to get to her. Yea I know that you believe me because you know all. I’m scared to bring it up because I don’t want to scare her away. That one solo reason is it took me a week to ask her out. I pray to you that all will go well between us and that she will take care of me and me of her. I know that writing this is very useless to you Lord but I’m hoping that if I leave it out my mom will find it and read it. Please work and help me figure m life out.
-Paul
Help people to hear my cry, and for people to help other people through life.
*written June 2001, typed as it was writting and I was very bad at spelling*
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