Paul Prins

Everyday there is a greater mark being made in our country. A larger gap is being formed between Christians and the rest of the secular society. People have called this a Christian country and it is was. Today it is far from that, we were founded on Judeo-Christian beliefs and views that have been stretched so far that the constitutional amendment that was meant to keep one Christian denomination from becoming the national religion has allowed for ten commandments monuments to be taken down all around the country. Gay marriage will be a reality within the next ten years at a national level. Christian groups are being excluded from public schools and the morals that are taught in the bible are being taken with a grain of salt rather then heart. The divide is obvious and growing.

The day will come when Christianity is once again what it was meant to be, counter-culture. People say that Jesus was the ultimate liberal because he went against every teaching of the time, they miss the fact that Christ lives in those who accept Him into their hearts. God has sustained our country for years, through wars and stumbles. The United States is leaving that which has kept us safe for over two centuries. We used to be a God fearing and loving country, a people that God had obvious favor for on earth. He blesses us to be able to reach the world for Him and we didn?t and now the tide is turning. Now Christ looks down upon an American people who are because they feel. They feel it?s OK so it is, they feel hurt so that isn?t. Having sex and doing drugs feels good so it?s fine. Condemning homosexuality hurts their feelings so that?s wrong. Christ said where His people should stand, it?s in His book. Our country is no longer Christian, welcome to the century of the Secular America.

(Interesting how China is becoming the worlds super power and they are currently having the fastest growing rate of Christianity in the world, tens of thousands coming to Christ everyday. Not implying anything here, wait, yes I am. Interesting how 9/11 has been such a catalyst in this change in America, dividing our country so quickly)

There are so many things that the secular people of this world can?t understand, they can?t understand where the world is heading. They only see earthly equality as something to be attained, and then there will be peace. Before Christ we are all equal, we all have rolls in His family as brothers and sisters of our Lord Jesus Christ. That is, those of us who have accepted the invitation into his family and not turned away from Him. Christ calls us to wrestle in prayer for laborers and for His kingdom to come and be realized on earth. As a Christian you are called to something more, it up to you if you ever respond to His calling on your life.

I?m not writing this as some theological scholar or historical professor. Only as one of the people who have responded to His call, sees the line in the sand, and stands daily in the battle fields others don?t admit exist in their hearts. Daily the trenches are dug deeper into the earth, people are switching sides, people are running into His arms. I write this as one of the few left standing and running to those who desire to know Him. I write this as one of the few who sees the world for what it is, not what they tell you it is.

The line is being drawn in the sand as we speak. It?s getting deeper each and everyday. My brothers and sisters please rise up, please. He needs you, God needs you now.

My heart wants to write things that are abstract, like 1S9E1A was, that people can take as it is. Though it seems that most people don?t like to think hard enough to get anything from it. People read it and just move past, it seems like most of my writing has this effect on people. It has me wondering if it is an ineffective method on my part, or maybe I just don?t have any friends? Probably is the latter.

Tonight we had a BBQ, which was a very exciting time for me. I was eating good food and hanging out with some extended family. Not having seen anyone since I returned from France it was a really good opportunity to find out where they are at spiritually and in their relationships with God. It was fun to have a talk with John and Barb about their new church program and some of the guys from Burnsville who are going to Stout this fall. Sounds like we might have a really solid Christian athlete coming to campus. Was affirmed more in the evangelism plans for this year as we talked. Speaking of which?

I?m super excited for this week, it?s going to be like Christmas Eve on Tuesday night for me. This will be the first time (Wednesday) that I?ll get to see the visions of the year start to unfold. Wednesday is our All Day Meeting with the crusade team leaders at Stout. My first meeting as the E-Team leader and I?m excited to get some road maps laid down for the new year. Thursday until Saturday is the fall warrior weekend, where all the people involved in the leadership get together in our teams and plan out the semester. It?s coming to the time when I get to have a front row seat to the work the Lord is doing through me.

This will be very different this year? I?m excited for it and at the same time worried that DJ and the regional office could get upset with what we?re doing. I?m taking our movement from a western style of evangelism (that honestly doesn?t work) to a community based style that allows people to become involved and experience the body of Christ. The two outreaches we did last year like this (the 3 on 3 basketball tournament, and the halo tournament) we?re both received very well and the students were asking if we?d do another. While they were looking for a way to have something to do, they also were building relationships and friends within Cru. Letting us be witnesses to them, and living the gospel for them to see. Welcome to evangelism.

Take Care and God bless,
~paul

School is getting closer and closer to becoming the reality that my prayers have been in labor for. In a week I?ll be leading the evangelism team at the most important warrior weekend of the year (first semester). I?m slightly nervous but I find solace in those feelings because I understand that if I were to feel prepared or 100% ready that my shield would be left down and it would leave me open to Satans attacks. Not to mention I wrote up a revised plan for the upcoming years that is only twenty-seven pages long? I can tell you are all jealous. This is when I am increasingly glad that we are a catalytic campus (a Campus Crusade movement with no Staff, it?s completely student led) as we can avoid a bunch of the junk that other campuses have to deal with. The more I?ve been reading into evangelism the more obvious that, while crusade is a great thing, it?s on the wrong side of evangelism. They are doing it the way of the Roman Catholic Church in the middle ages, which was far less effective (basically the difference between, conform to the church, or let the church meet you and be with you). I?ll write more on evangelism later.

I?m pretty much just in a holding pattern until next Wednesday. Everything that I?ve needed to get done before I headed back to school is done. Only have a couple events to attend yet (wedding tonight, cabin tomorrow, and then coffee on Monday) and those aren?t things that I can do until they happen. The rest of my summer is going to be spent reading and doing whatever else comes up. A lot of people have gone back to school already, so it?s a little rough but I should make it. I did last year.

Needless to say I?m pretty excited for tonight, get to see a good friend of mine get married to an Eden Prairie cru gal from stout. Plus I get to see a bunch of guys from school that I?ve been away from all summer. I?m very much looking forward to getting to Stout and putting to practice everything that I?ve learned and been shown this summer. Hopefully this school year is unlike anything anyone can remember. I?m getting more and more excited. I know Christ is with me in every step of this. I mean how else can you explain fasting for seventy hours and not being hungry or thirsty. Pretty darn sweet if you ask me, and so comforting to realize that my prayers for this campus have already been answered. That my work is only to reveal the work that He?s already done in the hearts and lives of those who are going to accept Christ. Such an amazing feeling.

I?ll try to write again tomorrow but probably won?t get around to it until Sunday. Take care and please let God bless you.
~paul

What would she say if tomorrow happened as her mind has told her it should? If truth rang through how would it change today and could it leave tomorrow alone? If I were to stop everything could it ever get going again? What happens when honesty catches up with you?

To be quite honest there is a lot I don?t write here. I find myself not writing about the time when everything is going so well, which happens to be the majority of the time. Lately however I?ve been running into things from my past that has been getting to me. The past year has been a whirlwind of things from left field. From taking a job with highline sports group in Vail, CO to turning down the same job before being accepted to go to France (knowing that I was going). Next in line was my resignation from my post at Midwest Skier/Cow Tipping Productions for a different roll within the same company just before the conclusion of the school year. Going into the summer I became the Evangelism Team leader at stout and God has been showing and teaching me so much about evangelism it?s been overwhelming at times. Then there is the ministry for next summer that I?m starting up? A year ago none of this crossed my mind and now I am so much more confident and sure of what I?m doing then I?ve ever been. This raises a question though.

How much of my history do I take with me? In the sense of what I keep my identity with. I used to thrive off of throwing the identity card out there, the Paul is a Professional in the ski industry? It was such an easy way to create rapport and respect from those around me. I made a conscious decision going to France that I wouldn?t tell anyone on project, I?m not even sure if the project director knew. It was a way for me to completely release myself from identifying with skiing. The group knew that I skied a bit and was good but no one really has any idea, save Eric who I told this past Friday. Now I?m forced to make a decision, do I take with me everything that skiing was for me, or save it for something that I only ever look back on too. When I fill out papers and talk to people about myself is it something that stays behind now? It?s not that I?m ashamed of it, there are few things I?ve done that I?m more proud of.

It?s just that I?m a different person now and, I know this will sound shallow of me, I don?t need skiing to be a source of identity that it was for a number of years. When I meet up with people they still see me ask the skier kid, and part of me always will be because I love that sport, but they miss what is one hundred times more exciting, the prospect of living for Christ day in and day out. I?ll be the first to admit that somedays are better then others and some moments are a lot better then some. Though I don?t regret a moment of it, of the decisions I?ve made. I?ve never been happier in my life to do what is set out before me. I only pray that as I get older I will keep pursuing Him with my everything.

keep living His blessing,
~paul

Who knows the boy sitting scared of the world that happens to quickly? As he sits there wondering when he’ll be safe to move. Looking with anticipation outward towards the little that he is able to see and focus on. There are things and people that, despite everything else, don’t seem to be moving, that aren’t a blur of color; rather they are waiting for something. He’s starting to get restless the more he sees these people around him. None of them notice him or if they do don’t acknowledge his presence. Simply stated, they are all focused on something else that he isn’t able to see through the sea of motion he’s trapped by.

Screaming he tries to reach one of them. nothing.. The sight of these people is becoming painful as he sits there (he hasn’t actually been sitting for some time but he’s trapped by the motion around him). He starts to question everything, the bustle and rustle of the motion has him doubting the very sound of his voice. When he moves his lips and yells does it utter a sound? The people he can see can’t hear him. Can he even hear him self? Thinking about this starts to frighten him, if there are those he can see but can’t hear, there must be those he can’t see. What if you could feel before you could hear someone? How could he get to someone if he couldn’t be heard and can’t reach them? The shiver hit his back as he realizes someone is standing behind him, yelling and he couldn’t here.

Eyes clenched shut pushing all the moisture out of his eyes, to their corners, causing two tears to wait silently. Slowly his hands touch to his hips and then run across his stomach as he prepares to look. He’s feeling sick as he turns.

This man is lost. This man isn’t trying to find him and hasn’t even noticed that he was there. One look at this man and he knew that this man was from the sea of movement. All the other people he could see were very put together with clean clothes and appeared to be waiting for something. This man was a mess. He could reach this man, and stretched out his hand to this man. Startled the man jumped before completely turning to face him. He was shocked to see what he saw, the man was hopelessly lost in something with dried lines running from his eyes that were pulled back to the corners of his face. The man was exhausted.

Moments before he realized what he was doing, the man saw his hand, he froze stiff. He wasn’t looking for someone who was broken as the man was. The man wasn’t who he screamed for. As thoughts and questions inundated his mind his hand became filled with the hand of the man. This man simply stood their waiting as if expecting something from him. He was so confused, this all occurred to quickly. A part of him wanted to push this man back into the sea of motion, forgetting that all of this ever happened, and part of him wanted to help pull the man together. As he was about to pull his hand away from this man and push him back he noticed the other people around him were all watching. His heart sank.

He pulled the man to his side and embraced the man. This was the first time that he could remember hearing another voice above all the noise of the sea that encapsulated them. The man said thank you.

Words were seldom exchanged between them, but the man was no longer looking as he had. As he looked at the man again he realized that the man was looking more and more like the other people. There were differences though; the man had marks that were still there, the dry streaks from the man’s eyes, the hair that was tossed about, and the fear of going back into the sea of motion. He had never been in the sea, at least as far back as he could remember, but had seen others get pulled into it. For him it was more a curiosity for what it truly was. Seeing the man so calm and relaxed finally staring off into the sea made him realize how much he had been saved from. There was so much that the man had gone through that he wouldn’t because he was out of the sea and because the man was glad to be out, so was he. They were smiling for what they had been saved from.

The Twin Cities Festival was really an amazing time. I don?t know how to explain it. To be in the presence of 120,000 other people praising and crying out to Christ in total adoration of all he?s done and given us is amazing. To have storms yield to the power of God, splitting in north St. Paul to reform just south of the city was amazing. Meteorologists were left with a loss for words over how to explain it. It?s hard to explain when the hand of God is moving through this world.

Third Day did a really awesome set, Luis was in better form on Saturday then Sunday in my mind, and the crowd was unreal. I bumped into a bunch of Cru people from Stout which was really nice, I hadn?t seen them in a long time and was able to ask them how their summers had been, found out a bit about Brazil (still to hear anything about OEX).

There is more I want to write but I feel as though I shouldn?t. I will write more later.

Take Care and God Bless,

Despite the confusion that was this morning Saturday turned out to be a pretty good day. Started off with me sleeping an hour past my alarm and enjoying ever moment of it to realizing some confusion that occurred last night that affected my plans for the day. I ended up able to finish the second run of the Evangelism Team plan as well as two appendices today for this upcoming year with Campus Crusade for Christ. It?s pretty detailed now. The main document is seventeen pages, and each appendix is five, all single-spaced. I think that has to be as much writing as I did all year in school. Oh well I?m looking forward to the feed back from Pete Z and Jay sometime next week. It?s hard to meet up because our schedules just don?t line up that well right now. To have this done now is a very large burden lifted off my shoulders. Now anyone can read through this plan and understand how the team will work this year.

Tonight was the first day of the Twin Cities Festival and it was really solid. There were over 80,000 people in attendance for the first day alone and the capitol grounds were packed full of people. I went over to st. paul with my little brother kyle and it was really awesome. We talk around home a lot but we never really go out and do anything together so it was a nice change.

The music started around 4:00 but I honestly hadn?t heard of any of the bands today aside from Stacie Orrico or Point of Grace and the later didn?t really interest me all that much (as I heard them at the Excel center two years ago and didn?t really get into it). Hezekiah Walker was pretty sweet, totally just let it all go out there, super high energy. Stacie did a pretty sweet unplugged set with just her and someone on acoustic, was a very solid set. She can sing like crazy.

Other then that the night was just really sweet, I talked with a bunch of people. Told the first person outside of those close to me what I?m doing next summer and she was really excited to hear about it. It was affirmation that I really needed to hear going into something that will take a large effort and faith to have happen how it is going to. God is good! Realized that Sarah C is in town right now and we?ve yet to meet up and I think she leaves on Tuesday so this could be tricky. Kind of funny that I?m going to hang out with her before Katie? though she lives a couple hundred miles away while Katie is only the other side of town.

I?m off to sleep. I put up a bunch of photos from tonight at the festival for you to check out, also modified the Blog layout a bit putting the most recent thumbnail on the left side under the links.

Take care and God bless,
~paul

So here is for an un-necessary number of posts in a short period of time. I might have done more then this in the past but alas, here is another one. I?m over whatever funk I was in last night. Truth is that I?m just tired of being here and feeling alone and isolated. I know to an extent that is always going to be there because I don?t share a spiritual connection with people from around here. It makes it hard but truth is that they are the exact same as people at stout, and I?ve been living so much in the future that the now has been passing me by.

In all honesty I feel as though I?m constantly pressed up to a mold I doubt I will ever fill. I get notes and comments from people I look up to, in regards to discipleship, ?I understand that those last tasks are next to impossible for a man of your stature who has already surpassed most of us in spiritual maturity! And since that may or may not be able to happen?? It?s honestly frustrating to hear, because of those around me don?t feel like they can teach me than who can. I learn bits and pieces from people here and there (sometimes the most unlikely people are used by the Lord to show me something, so got to stay on my toes). Sometimes it just takes getting it out of your system and someone to have the guts to put you in your place. It?s time for me to step back up to the plate and into His presence for the tasks set before me.

One thing that has struck me is that it?s never about when I?m ready, I wasn?t ready to go to France, I wasn?t ready to give a sermon at church, I?m not ready to lead the evangelism team, and I?m not ready to be put in the position I?m in with Cru this fall. The only catch is that He is ready for me and to work through me, thus if I rest in Him I am ready. It?s one of the weirdest things that I know intellectually but yet fail to remember when things come up. I tense up with my insides flapping in the quietest breeze, but when I am obedient and trust in the Spirit and Christ that flapping becomes a simply eloquent sound lifted up to Heaven for His praise. It?s not the end of the world that I feel distant, I?ve found my outlet in different books I?m able to read from and the bible will forever teach me, and warn me of what is coming in my spiritual life. In time Christ will set someone into my life whom will be there as well (very much looking forward to this).

It?s just important for me to spend the time I need to reflecting and re-centering myself in Christ. That I don?t treat the Father how I do my earthly dad, and let that relationship get between Him and me. My Father deserves everything He knows I can be.

In other news, I bought some books last night, they should show up next week and it will be very convenient as I am about to finish my current book. Bought five this time around
- Absolute Surrender by Andrew Murray
- The Ministry of Intercessory Prayer by Andrew Murray
- Humility by Andrew Murray
- Evangelism In The Early Church by Michael Green
- The Celtic Way of Evangelism by George G. Hunter

All in all the books should be really good, I love Andrew Murray?s style of devotional learning. Read a book of his over project in France and loved it so much I?m getting three more? The evangelism books should be really good as well; the one about the early church is exactly what the title implies. Examples from the early church and how it was set up and worked, just a bunch of stuff I hopefully can apply into our campus strategy. Also the Celtic Way is about how St. Patrick was able to reach the people of Ireland, a completely un-reached people group at the time and make Christianity tangible, real, and desirable in the lives of the people.

Till next time. Take care and God bless,
~paul

Well I figured it out; I know what I was so frustrated with in the last post. It?s being here, I?m tired of being here at home. Part of it is that they can?t see past who I was to who I?ve become after a year, they still look at me like I was. To be honest, as much as I liked who I was in high school I like who I am now so much more. I miss being around people who see that, who see it and don?t need to say anything about it. Basically I?m just worn of people looking at me like I?m no different then before, or treating me indifferently.

I?m just feel more and more like I don?t fit in here, that those around me are just there and don?t understand what it is I?m going through. That they see it as what is to be expected and miss the barriers that I am working so hard to break through. The fact that they don?t understand what took place in France, or what that work is even like. How I?m looking forward to be with people who can talk candidly about our summers. People who understand evangelism because they?ve done it, not because they?ve heard someone else talk about it.

It is tiring to live here, to spend my time reading because it?s the only way I can meet with someone who understands. That so much of the world around me seems to engulf those around me. My dad who can?t see past who he?s become to who he is destined to be and has grown so hard to the world. Friends who look at me with blank stares unsure of what to think or believe. My Christian friends who don?t understand the need for evangelism, or even what it is and how it works. Friends of mine who look at what I?m doing and don?t take the time to understand or ask questions. It?s frustrating to know what I do, to not be able to share it with anyone. Makes be question what I?m doing next summer, though through prayer and fasting this city and me will be ready.

Take care and God bless,
~paul

So I?m feeling as though I need to write something, although what I?m not sure. My world is going past so quickly, everything around me just seems to blur into something that I would rather not take the time to discern. I?m so anxious to get into what it is this summer has been preparing me for that I miss what the rest of this summer could be. To be honest I?m in quite a hard spot because of the position I am in. The sermon yesterday that Jennifer gave hit home, she mentioned that those with more gifts have a heavier responsibility for His kingdom. To be honest that isn?t want I needed to hear, my devotional time lately has not been what I?ve wanted to read. Time and again I read about the fact that there are high expectations and that it will be forged onward alone. Here?s to having something to write about.

No longer do I fit in here, in this city, in this house. There are few people here who understand what they need to, and I?m not yet in a place to assume my roll. I?m sick of being around people who condemn my understanding of scripture and spirit filled life as arrogance. Mostly I?m just tired of people not understanding what it is I?m doing, people telling me how great an experience it was to go to France. They couldn?t be further off as they talk to me with glazed eyes and demons blinding their eyes and convincing them of lies so blatant they must be true. If it were an experience it would be done, I?m far from it. My next years are going to be preparing others to go, to raise up His laborers and move them to that part of the vineyard. It?s far from over, my prayers continue, I am still there, you only see me here because you don?t know how else to look at me.

You are stuck looking at how I?ve ?changed.? The tan I have, the bag I carry, the worn feet from countless miles walked on cobblestone roads and maybe even the words I say (the slight French I still speak). The things that are actually different you miss, you don?t take time to see because your eyes are closed, or even worse, have never even been opened. Things I don?t speak of are foolishness to you upon my tongue, forcing words to retreat to whence they came. I?m tired of people who don?t admit their un-satisfaction, spending time seeking it where there is only despair.

I have nothing else to write.

Take care and God bless,
~paul