PaulPrins.net

I’m back, and exhausted so now I will sleep. There will be more written later.

It?s interesting to see how everything seems to come in phases, for a group of people to all feel similar at the same time. Over the past couple months it was something that I didn?t expect to see happen, from growing closer to several people and getting to know them better this was an unexpected aside. Not that I know what it means or really anything more about it. Just that it?s interesting.

The hardest thing for me to do is to know when. I love to sit and enjoy the moment, to bask in what the Lord has given me and just be with those around me. Words don?t have to be said, nothing needs to be conveyed, just you/us sitting there and me sitting here is enough. So many times I wish I knew what to say, or even more honestly when to say it. I?m not saying this to rationalize anything, or to make up for anything. Just because I feel like it?s been really true in my life lately.

Here is what I do know. I know that no matter how often I try there will always be times when I?ll screw up. That when those times come I pray that my heart would be shown through and that my intentions would be pure. I?m sorry for how things turned out bro, I just want you to know that life has a funny way of working out? rather, Christ has a funny way of knowing what we need and has even better ways of giving it to us. Things in my life, even if they make so much sense to me and logical to happen, don?t always happen when they ?should? or I feel like they should. It?s just amazing to me to watch how God provides everything I truly need. We?ll be praying for you.

Seek out the face of Christ,
~paul

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this is most likely going to be my last entry before I leave. I?m so excited to get over to east asia and just see what is going on over there. I?ve been so blessed over the last several weeks it?s unreal. So awesome to watch the support come in, the logistics fall into place, the team form, and prayer after prayer be answered for this trip. I won?t post while I?m there but will be writing and will post things when I get back.

?I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.? ~ Acts 20:24

The weekend was good, it was nice to get home and to spend some time with the family, get the last couple things I needed before heading off to East Asia this week, and just being able to escape school for a while. As for this week? I?m really looking forward to having the first half done with.

Today is Monday (well by a couple minutes anyway) and I?ll find out if I got the position of RA up at wigen hall on north campus. If I did then that means a lot of craziness happening in my week. Here is the break down, if I get the job then I need to move in this week on either Tuesday or Wednesday. That?s right, very soon. The position is effective immediately. I have boxes sitting in my room that I will fill up if I get the call telling me it?s a go, otherwise I guess they?ll head back next time I head home. I?ve been praying that my application would be accepted and that I would be up there. That the lord would be able to use me in the lives of the students on my floor and on north campus.

On top of that, Monday is always crazy for me. Just the fact that I have a completely booked night from 3:30pm until around 9:30 or 10:00pm and I?ll need to pack in there as well before moving on Tuesday (would rather move Tuesday so that I don?t leave everything until Wednesday) and I also have a couple hours of meetings on Tuesday as well. I?m also more or less packed right now which should help later in the week.

That brings me to my next point, this time next week I?ll be waking up to do ministry in East Asia. Here is the tricky part, you don?t just wake up in a country half way around the world, you need to travel there. Which is precisely what we?ll be done on early Thursday for about 20-24 hours. We?re going to meet up at Aprils house on Wednesday night and then head to the airport after some early morning go-karting and no sleep!! It?s really to help adjust to the 12/13 hr time difference. Man it?s going to be weird.

I won?t be able to update while I?m over there, but I?ll still probably be writing there and will back-post when I get back stateside. Plus I will have my journals along so you can count on me getting a lot written in them as well. I?m going to sleep.

Seek him for your tomorrow,
~paul

Wow, it?s so unreal for me to think about everything that?s been going on in life lately. How much of a blessing it has been. It?s starting to become a battle inside myself to not become spiritually lazy because I don?t want this to fade away. When I look back on certain times in my life I would have done anything if I had known that there was to be a point like this.

It?s crazy how everything is falling together. The interview yesterday for the RA position went so well, I?ll hear on Monday if I got the position or not, if I did I?d actually be moving next week before I leave for East Asia (OEX). It?s super weird to think about. I could come back to campus after thanksgiving break, living in a new room, new floor, new hall, yet still have all the same classes. As much as I front that I?m ready for it I?m actually quite scared and nervous about it. I?m scared that I?ll loose my friends down here, that it will be a constant battle up there (though I am anticipating it to be? I just pray that I would reach some level of comfort there), that it could be more then I can handle, and if I keep thinking about it this list would keep getting longer. I just have this gut feeling that in this I?m being obedient to God in doing this, I know that every time I?ve stepped out for Him I?ve been met in greater ways then I ever could have dreamt.

The most recent major way I stepped out was with France, since then I?ve just been so blessed by that chance to live for the Lord. I?m not saying that I take every opportunity to do something because I think it could be some way to be blessed (though to some it might appear that way), a lot of prayer has gone into all of it. Stepping out in prayer has also been unreal, watching prayers be answered all over the place. Asking my father to bless those around me and to refine my heart has never been more fruitful in my life. All semester I?ve been praying for the bible study up in wigen, for more strong Christian men to be raised up there who will labor for the Lord… Then I got asked to be an RA before the semester is even done. Then the interview went amazingly well.

There is something different this time around, I?ve yet to let my guard down, or I guess you could look at it as me trying to keep it down. Lately I?ve been starting to study spiritual warfare more and it?s really been pressed on me the importance of constantly becoming nothing and being broken down before the Lord. That the areas of my life that are hardened or even hardening need to be shattered so that his light can re-enter into them. That?s where I?m at I guess, trying to keep my focus on the Lord, giving him all the praise. It?s so hard to take sometimes, I want to just relax and enjoy these blessings but I know that I have to keep pressing onward and be continually becoming nothing so that God must continue to bless me. I pray that all you who read this be bold in your faith.

Seeking less of me and more of Him,
~paul

Wow, I can?t believe in less than 10 days I?ll be flying to Denver, then to San Francisco, then to East Asia!!! The stout crew meet up and chilled over at the crib for a mini marie briefing of some of the logistical, safety, and culture side of the trip. Since I had it placed on my heart I haven?t really thought about it all that much? it?s pretty crazy to be honest with you. I?ve talked to all but one of my teachers, and everything has worked out in my favor.

It?s really surreal for me, I went to france this past summer and felt as though I had it all figured out and then my heart really went out for the East Asians. It?s so weird. I honestly can?t explain how the change felt, I still love the French but feel as though I can?t go forward with a clean conscious without going on this vision trip. I feel like the Lord is really preparing me to learn or see something and all I can do is pray that I?m ready. Seven days from now I will be on a plane to San Francisco en-route to our final destination. It seems like it isn?t even happening. I also have this weird feeling like I?m leaving some part of my life behind, and I don?t know why that is.

I?m super excited to get over there!! AHHHHHHHH, please be praying for our safety!

God Bless,
~paul

It isn?t often that you?ll hear paul get nostalgic, or catch me reminiscing of the past but I?m in that mood so here ya go.

I never thought of what college would be like, I never in my wildest dreams thought that my film mentor Jon Koskinen would have past away last year, that I would have starting Cow Tipping Productions and MidwestSkier only to resign all positions except acting president over operations (which are none at the moment), that my milk and cookie addition would have transcended time all the way to while I?m writing this, that the jokes of a couple guys at a boy scout camporee would be coming true (a nick name so innocent as ?Pastor Paul?..), that my life would have been given to ministry, that I would actually know what it meant to be lost for myself. That right now I don?t know whats happening tomorrow and that?s cool with me.

I never thought I would have attempted suicide twice, or that I was even depressed and that the Lord would pull me through it to the point that he has, that I wouldn?t need medication and would be cured by Gods hand, that I would meet so many amazing people who I could never comprehend the blessing that they?ve been to me, that I would have grown my hair out so long, that my parents would have let me, that I would feel so empowered by the Holy Spirit, that I would constantly be seeking the Lord in prayer, that I would actually desire to loose everything I?ve ever had, that I?d study art at school in Wisconsin and then a year later switch to service management.

If you would have told me half of this I never would have believed it, the people I?ve fallen for, the smile on my face, the brokenness I desire, the saunter to my pace, the way I love others, the way I love myself, the closeness of my good friends and their sheer number, the blessings I?ve been given, the school I?m at, the importance I place in Christ, the roomie I have, the attitude I have towards life, the way I see the world, the support I have for what I?m doing, the relationship I have with my parents, the closeness I have with my brothers now, how different I would be…

On another note, just something from a conversation I had a couple days ago with a friend of mine about relationships.

I trust that the Lord has someone out there for me. I wish I knew who she was, maybe I do (oh how I pray that I do), or maybe I?ll meet her tomorrow. That trust is still there that He has someone waiting for me. My prayers are that I will be continually refined by Christ so that I will be ready for her, and that I?ll be the man of God she?ll need. I’m praying that she’ll be the women of God that I’ll need to help get through the trials in my life. In the end, when I finally meet her, I want her to be just as taken back by me as I know I’ll be of her. Not by anything she can see, but by the work that God has been performing inside me. That the more I get to know her the more thankful I get for what the Lord is doing in her life, and ours.

dreaming of tomorrow with the Lord (because it?s so close),
~paul

This has been an awesome weekend. It all started off Thursday night with a really great speaker at cru, who we actually talked into coming to our mock-house party afterwards. He was actually a motivational speaker, Blaine I believe was his name. Gave a great talk about PEP (Passion, Enthusiasm, and Purpose) and how they all interact and give us our strength and drive to get anything done. Was pretty sweet to as I was reading in James today about faith and deeds, how because of faith we live our lives differently and that is represented by the deeds we do. Also how that is tied into salvation, kind of makes me wonder how many people are truly saved. Not that it is for me to know either way. I must only do the work the Lord places before me and keep the faith.

The rest of the weekend has gone by really fast. Had dinner and ballroom dancing in the cities on Friday night, so much fun. Learned a couple different, more basic dances. We could have used some more guys there, but it was a good time nonetheless. I only hope that everyone who went got to have some fun dancing. That had to be one of the best days I?ve had so far, possibly ever. I also found out earlier that day that the Eva the STINTERs in Toulouse had been writing about was the girl that Catherine and I had met just outside the courtyard under the trees at Arsanult. She went on the Agape France retreat this past weekend, and also went to church the Sunday before at the Evangelic-Eglese with her friend, who also brought a believing friend! It?s so amazing to see how my prayers for her are unfolding.

By the time Saturday morning rolled around I was thoroughly danced out, had dancing for like 6 hours in the previous two days, so it was time for some floor soccer. It was the first time I had every played soccer. Seriously, I had only kicked around a soccer ball one night and almost got hit by a police car because I chased the ball into the street (ok, so it was more me stepping onto the ball to stop it as it rolled off the curb into the street and me practically diving headlong into a squad car driving past). This summer, however, I really got the bug for soccer watching so much of the Euro Cup 2004 in Toulouse. I had a pretty good game all considering. Got to play some offence and some goally. It was 4v4, our team won.

Saw the movie ?The Incredibles? and highly recommend it to everyone. I actually wouldn?t mind seeing it again. So funny. I?ll agree with my brother when he says it?s the best pixar film to date. If you want to know more about it check out his journal, he did a really good review of it.

As for the rest of the day, we stopped at best buy in eau claire, and I got a new uv filter for my SLR since I broke the last one at fall retreat a couple weeks back. Went and chilled with some of the north hall cru gang. Also picked up a new mono-pod and the movie Elephant which is really well done. Little disturbing but at the same time the subject can?t be done without that. Gus van Sant did an amazing job with a very difficult subject. Some of the overlapping and perspectives are so beautifully rendered you barely notice that it wasn?t all filmed at the exact same time.

Not it?s Sunday and I?m avoiding more homework by writing this out listening to some franky blue eyes (kind of funny because it?s been about a year to the date since I listened to him last).

Praise the Lord for an amazing weekend! I feel as though the last couple weeks of mine have been so blessed, it?s unreal.

Keep seeking out God?s grace,
~paul