PaulPrins.net

It’s really weird to be here, about to lay my head to rest without being able to say goodnight to her, to wish her the best tomorrow, or to pick on her knowing that on the other side of some screen or phone she was laughing. I try to avoid being sappy when I can, so sorry if this post is a bit heavy (considering how introspective most of what I write is, she hasn’t come up much on here). This morning bright and early I saw her off at the airport with her parents after quite the crazy road getting her there. It was really awesome to see how everything satan through up in her path didn’t stand, but the Lords calling her to serve Him did and will this summer. To stand to the side watching her move through the queue and pass through security, it was surreal. We were doing it, we had put Christ so far first that we accepted the fact that we would only see each other for about 10 days in 14 months or longer. To have a girlfriend so in love with God to put Him above me, indescribable.

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So the year is over, I?m at home and it?s been quite the while since I?ve updated this blog of mine. Trust me I?ll get better at updating this now that I?m back into somewhat of a concrete schedule. It?s a but surreal to be home though, to be gone from stout knowing that I won?t be back there anytime soon. Granted I will be able to see a bunch of my friends from school at some of the weddings this summer, but I won?t be able to come back this fall and live ministry with them again.

To be on the cusp of something so large, a year of living in Europe, that my mind can?t wrap around it is difficult. Leaving everything and everyone I know for this apartment in the heart of Toulouse, with three guys I kind of know, for people I?ve never met. If it wasn?t the Lord calling me to this I could never make it. It?s been so hard to say goodbye to people I know, to friends I?ve grown to love more then I thought love could mean. To realize that there are so many people I won?t get to see again before they graduate (and some that I may not see again because of that, on this side of the gates anyway). Derek and MM are two people who I?m going to miss so much. If they knew it or not they have helped mold me and inspire me to become so much more then I ever thought the Lord desired me to be. I pray only the best for you next year.

Then my class at stout (juniors!!), the brothers and sisters who I?ve known since my freshman year that I will leave for a year, it?s surreal to be gone from them and the love and support they?ve been for me. So many times you have been there for me to pick me back up or to put me back into my place. I never knew how much God would give those who loved Him above all before I was blessed to meet all of you. My crazy hot chocolate and tea party gang were awesome. Hopefully one of you keeps it going next year while I?m gone and you?re able to keep serving one another without expectation of anything in return.

Ah Jordan, you?re more then I ever deserve and ever imagined. You?ll be my friend waiting at the door for my return, who did not sit idol in my absence. Sweet heart how excited I am to see you on that day in July when we meet again. To see the marks God has made, blending His life into yours and our lives together. May God be generous enough to align our paths and to let me live life without someone like you rather than alone with Christ. Strive onward p.s.

Then there is the family. It?s been weird to live here and realize how little I know them. My heart is so burdened for not getting to know Ryan better, he?s so awesome from what I do know. I?m gonna miss all of you this summer, kyle you better tell me stories from Penn State, and mom and dad gotta let me know whats going on in your lives as well. I feel so blessed to have the summer to spend with the three of you before I leave for the year.

This is so weird, it?s weird to see how blessed I have been and to have never noticed it until it is time to take leave from it for a year. I pray that you all will radiate more when we meet again, that Christs light and refining power would be evident in every motion of your hearts. I can?t wait to meet those of you I?ve only begun to know, learn from, love, and serve.

Till I write again, let Christ change your life again,
~paul

The concept of loving on someone to get them to heaven, of being the physical representation of Gods love for them has really consumed my thought this past year in my evangelism. It was my thinking that if people only knew how much God loved them, they would desire to start that personal relationship with Him. I had missed a key point to this ever working.

How can someone know how much they are loved, or even what love is, without something to measure it against. More importantly how can someone desire mercy and grace if they see themselves as an amazing person. How can we show mercy on someone if we do not show them equal justice. The bible calls us to give and have mercy on our enemies, but we must also be just that they will know it is mercy.

In Romans 13 Paul rights about our submission to authority and says that those who rebel against their authorities will receive justice. That while the wrath of God is for Him alone to send upon those who are in sin, it?s justice reserved for Him. Those who are against governing authorities must receive justice from them. This is a call from God for those in positions of authority.

There are so many applications of this, but do not get carried away. Teachers are to grade justly, police are to uphold the law without compromise, Dads are to maintain rule and order within the house, and the Church is to apply judgment to those acting out in habitual sin. Those are examples of the one governing being just with those under them, so that they may then receive mercy from the same hand and through that mercy draw closer to God who supplies His grace and love.

Being a RA this year has really challenged me with this idea of justice. For the first time I have been put in a position of upholding the rules established and to be the first line of authority on my floor and in this dorm. I have written before about seeing the guys on my floor as pure (Titus 1:15) but this is only to be added on top of that entry as even more important. To see them as pure is to have mercy upon them for doing wrong, NOT ignoring the wrong they have done which calls for justice to be brought. It is only after justice that one can extend a hand of mercy. Oh how I wish someone would have told me sooner.

Justice is good because our righteously just God is good to perfection (in reference to Romans 12:21). Without Justice there is no need for Christ.

?For he is God?s servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God?s servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer.? ~Romans 13:4

being molded further by Christ ever moment, your brother,
~paul

This has been the most amazing end of a semester to date. I?m watching lofty prayers answered harder and more firmly then I actually believed they would have been. However I?ll be the first to admit how surreal it seems, how it is as though amidst some of my doubts God is shining so stinking brightly. As though the tradition and reason are gone, and I?m left waiting and watching God work through me. I can?t help but sing (and how glorious will the days be when there is nothing left to do but sing praises to him!!!!)!

Ok, from the top and in no particular order! Watching someone step up to lead the Evangelism team, someone with such a heart to reach the lost. To see the need and desire for them to be in heaven, to have everything God has promised them. It?s the calling on all of our lives as Christians, it comes with knowing God so intimately. AH I?m amped up about that and to see how Abba moves through that plethora of outreaches next year!

Tonight I got to share my testimony with one of my fellow RA?s and it was so awesome to watch her respond to it and to be able to share spiritual and biblical truth with her. To watch her crank through it and process it, to watch it make sense to her. Jehovah you are amazing.

To watch my friend sarah (who the last entry was for) seeking God, even if I am having a hard time keeping up with her for follow up. It?s so great to know that she is resting in God?s hands after something so hard and heart wrenching that I cried when she told me what had happened. My sister how God loves you and wants you to grow and be healed. Healer comfort her.

It?s just been amazing to watch the Defender stand up and move in my through my lack of submission to him. It?s only in the strength of Adequacy that any of this is happening. How I missed You, how I have so often pushed You aside, how You?ve never forgotten me and even when I felt unable You show me You are. Mighty God do not stop shaking the walls till every brick and every ounce of mortar has felt your Hope. Thank you Lord for changing me, for living in me, and showing me more then my eyes could ever see.

May the Restorer of Our Souls bless you as you seek His face,
~paul