Paul Prins

Update: Here is the audio of my eulogy

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I have a lot of great memories with my dad. Great trips all over the world, more good meals then I can remember, and at the end of the day a man who was there for me. When my brothers and I were little kids he was teaching us how to swim on Saturday mornings – also known as mom’s time off.

As we got older it was bike trips all over the Midwest with my brothers. As we continued to get older we got introduced to the game of Golf. It took years but I still remember the first time I ever beat my dad, and while the details are fuzzy now I know that there was a great excuse as to how that was possible.

We also took several Spring Break ski trips out west with my cousins. They were weeks with five boys and my dad for skiing and shenanigans. There was one time when the five of us boys were exiting the plane a woman stopped my dad and asked if all five of us came from one woman. He turned around to her, smiled, and told here it was two women. He just left it at that, being in Utah and all.

Another night after dinner at a local Park City BBQ joint my older brother Ryan did what older brothers do best, and started punching me in the street – completely unprovoked I promise – and I called out to my dad for helping saying, “He’s beating me in the street”.  My dad responded to this situation by telling me I was grounded.

It took over a decade for my dad to later admit that this was in his top 5 parenting mistakes. But it was OK because it made for a great story. Just like the time when I was 15 and I drove the golf cart we were sharing into a pond. My dad was an extremely gracious man.

This is really where I wanted to get to, my dads graciousness. Most of you would have no reason to know that I struggled with depression and suicide. Along with this I struggled to understand the decisions my parents made that caused my dad to travel as much as he did when I was growing up. At the time I could not really understand it – so I placed a lot of blame on my dad. For a few years I couldn’t even call him dad because it was to hard for me, so he became Mike to me.

As I grew in my faith with Christ there became a day when I knew that I needed to forgive my dad for what I hurt I believed he had caused me, and to take steps to reconcile my relationship with him. This was in 2005. To my great pleasure the man who I had avoided and the relationship I had abandoned was there waiting for me. In the same way the prodigal son returned to his dad, I returned to mine. Granted I knew just how to get on his schedule, ask to meet him on the golf course. Ever since that summer our relationship has grown deeper, and for me it was a second chance I knew I didn’t deserve.

Many people wonder what faith is, people study and search their whole lives for it. They want it to be mystical, incomprehensible, unobtainable, and beyond the grasp of all but a few. As a seminary student I can attest to the number of books written on the subject. Yet in Mikes gracefulness, in my dads gracefulness he made real one of the key characteristics of God Himself. My dad was a man with a deep, yet reserved and quiet, faith. It was this faith that made him the man we all loved.

In the time since that summer my life has change quite a bit. I fell in love with the love of my life – Jordan, and got to witness the excitement that adding her to our family brought him. My dad has been a long time advocate of my different business ventures, and was a mentor and supporter of mine as we launched our software development company – Fresh Vine. And most of all, seeing him gain a passion for the French people to come to know and love Jesus – whom Jordan and I feel called to live with and minister too – gives me a joy that I cannot begin to describe.

There are many things that my dad will miss out on – us buying our first place, the birth of our children, spoiling those children and ruining many dinners with candy, seeing us move to Paris, start our life there, and starting the first of many churches there. Yet for me, I got a second chance with my dad that exceeded my every hope and prayer. A second chance that was far better than the first chances most people have with their fathers.

And now, for my dad, his faith is now his reality. And someday when we are all raised from the dead, I know he’ll want to play a round of golf and grab a beer. I only hope that he doesn’t get too much practice in before we meet again. I really liked beating him.

Back on November 7th (2010) my dad got the opportunity to share with his faith community at Eden Prairie Presbyterian Church where he was at with his ALS diagnosis and his faith. At this point he had just begun to use his wheel chair. This 13 minute conversation took place 266 days before he past away from complications brought on by ALS.

It is a great conversation between my dad, and pastor John Ward. I encourage you to give it a listen. Or you can download it for later.

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This year Jordan and I went to the Minnesota State Fair with some good friends (Kyah and Rob respectively) and had a blast. We also discovered that when you pair up with friend the amount of food you can consume and purchase as a group increases!! Below is the pictorial diary of our good eats (albeit a month after the fact).

So what all did we eat? In order from the top left; Pronto Pup, Deep Fried Snickers Bar, Gelato Ice Cream, Tom Thumb Mini Donuts, cinnamon and Sugar Lefsa, Pickle on a Stick, Spaghetti and Meatball on a Stick, Free Water!, Roasted Nuts, Salmon on a stick, Wild Game Bratwurst, Lemon aid, Shaved Hawaiian Ice, Cheese Curds, Cotton Candy, Roasted Corn on the Cob, 1919 Draft Root beer, Bucket of Sweet Martha’s Cookies, and All the Milk you can Drink for a dollar!!

Jealousy should have already set in.

It was a great day, we escaped just before the clouds opened up and it started to pour down the rain (we went on 8/28 for $8 at the gate!). To see more photos hit the link! Read the rest of this entry »

Just got back from the wedding of Katy and Sam. It was really a great time with beautiful weather in a gorgeous setting in a garden in rural Wisconsin. It was easily one of the most beautiful settings for a wedding I’ve ever seen. I loved it. Katy looked radiant and Sam was just a mega stud. I took a bunch of shots for fun that I’ll throw up to flickr in a bit (will post a few here to follow). You two know that we’re praying for you and are thrilled to have been present as you became ONE flesh.

May God bring countless others into His kingdom through the both of you in the  years to come.

Today at half past noon in St. Cloud, Minnesota my high school friend, Carissa Goertz became Carissa Kay Allen. It was so surreal and great at the same time. I had never met her husband, Jeff, until today and so was a bit concerned. After hearing his family and friends talk of him there is no doubt in my mind. He’s a solid man of God that Carissa deserves and needs in her life. It was as if she was in a dream and the reality that she would wake up next to Jeff hadn’t completely set in. SO exciting for her and him! May your love and zeal for Christ spill over unto one another until you are with Him.
Read the rest of this entry »

This has been the most amazing end of a semester to date. I’m watching lofty prayers answered harder and more firmly then I actually believed they would have been. However I’ll be the first to admit how surreal it seems, how it is as though amidst some of my doubts God is shining so stinking brightly. As though the tradition and reason are gone, and I’m left waiting and watching God work through me. I can’t help but sing (and how glorious will the days be when there is nothing left to do but sing praises to him!!!!)!

Ok, from the top and in no particular order! Watching someone step up to lead the Evangelism team, someone with such a heart to reach the lost. To see the need and desire for them to be in heaven, to have everything God has promised them. It’s the calling on all of our lives as Christians, it comes with knowing God so intimately. AH I’m amped up about that and to see how Abba moves through that plethora of outreaches next year!

Tonight I got to share my testimony with one of my fellow RA’s and it was so awesome to watch her respond to it and to be able to share spiritual and biblical truth with her. To watch her crank through it and process it, to watch it make sense to her. Jehovah you are amazing.

To watch my friend sarah (who the last entry was for) seeking God, even if I am having a hard time keeping up with her for follow up. It?s so great to know that she is resting in God’s hands after something so hard and heart wrenching that I cried when she told me what had happened. My sister how God loves you and wants you to grow and be healed. Healer comfort her.

It’s just been amazing to watch the Defender stand up and move in my through my lack of submission to him. It’s only in the strength of Adequacy that any of this is happening. How I missed You, how I have so often pushed You aside, how You’ve never forgotten me and even when I felt unable You show me You are. Mighty God do not stop shaking the walls till every brick and every ounce of mortar has felt your Hope. Thank you Lord for changing me, for living in me, and showing me more then my eyes could ever see.

May the Restorer of Our Souls bless you as you seek His face,
~paul

I’m sorry this hurts, that sometimes it feels as though it hurts to much to even cry. To imagine a pain that feels so indescribable it is nearly unbearable is beyond me. Loosing someone you have so much love for, so much heart for, so many memories with, someone who was your best friend. I’m envious that you were able to have a best friend, that you had someone to share life with so richly. Yet I fail to be able to understand the hurt because it’s more then I’ve ever tried to comprehend.

For the phone call you forgot to make I’m pained, for when you told me of the news you heard i wept. I see so much of who I was in him now, I had no idea what I was doing when I wanted to end my life. Please trust me when I say that it’s nothing you did or could have done, that he didn’t even know who was there and that love seemed fictitious and emptiness real. Know that nothing in this world that can fill that emptiness that burned at his heart and pulled the trigger.

That emptiness is forever burned in my mind, as the opposite of the fullness of Christ who is now in my life. No love could fill that void, only mask over it until I would fall back in. Believe me, I tried to mask it over and to cover it’s expanse with success and any love I could find. The emptiness would only increase until it all fell in leaving me lower than before. Desiring death over life and leaving a void that only God could fill. If I could let him in.

I sat in awe of your compassion for him as you wept, jealous of your emotions next to my compliancy, and desiring to want those around me in heaven as much as you wanted him to be there now (knowing he wasn’t). It’s hard to find the lining in this, to even grasp a hint as to why God wrote this as his life story, to die so young, and to hurt so much. Now let God be your strength, let Him feel and hear of your pain, pour out your anger onto your Father, and do all this so that you may feel His love even more. Oh my sister, let Christ be your strength and your comfort in this time of pain, disbelief, hurt, and confusion. Let Christ be your strength by being nothing before Him, pour your self out to him.

It is the times when we feel the most pain that God desires us the most if we would only hear his voice whispering to us between the tears. Whispers telling us it will be alright, that his divine love will fill the void and emptiness in our lives if we would only spend more time with Him. Sister you are in my prayers, my heart is burdened for you, Oh how God desires to be the center of your life. Praise the Lord for the commitment you’ve made to put him back upon your throne and to live your life for Him. Sleep well and know that he’ll never give you more then you can handle and that you’re never alone.

“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” -Deuteronomy 31:8

May you all seek Gods face,
~paul

This has been an awesome weekend. It all started off Thursday night with a really great speaker at cru, who we actually talked into coming to our mock-house party afterwards. He was actually a motivational speaker, Blaine I believe was his name. Gave a great talk about PEP (Passion, Enthusiasm, and Purpose) and how they all interact and give us our strength and drive to get anything done. Was pretty sweet to as I was reading in James today about faith and deeds, how because of faith we live our lives differently and that is represented by the deeds we do. Also how that is tied into salvation, kind of makes me wonder how many people are truly saved. Not that it is for me to know either way. I must only do the work the Lord places before me and keep the faith.

The rest of the weekend has gone by really fast. Had dinner and ballroom dancing in the cities on Friday night, so much fun. Learned a couple different, more basic dances. We could have used some more guys there, but it was a good time nonetheless. I only hope that everyone who went got to have some fun dancing. That had to be one of the best days I?ve had so far, possibly ever. I also found out earlier that day that the Eva the STINTERs in Toulouse had been writing about was the girl that Catherine and I had met just outside the courtyard under the trees at Arsanult. She went on the Agape France retreat this past weekend, and also went to church the Sunday before at the Evangelic-Eglese with her friend, who also brought a believing friend! It?s so amazing to see how my prayers for her are unfolding.

By the time Saturday morning rolled around I was thoroughly danced out, had dancing for like 6 hours in the previous two days, so it was time for some floor soccer. It was the first time I had every played soccer. Seriously, I had only kicked around a soccer ball one night and almost got hit by a police car because I chased the ball into the street (ok, so it was more me stepping onto the ball to stop it as it rolled off the curb into the street and me practically diving headlong into a squad car driving past). This summer, however, I really got the bug for soccer watching so much of the Euro Cup 2004 in Toulouse. I had a pretty good game all considering. Got to play some offence and some goally. It was 4v4, our team won.

Saw the movie ‘The Incredibles’ and highly recommend it to everyone. I actually wouldn’t mind seeing it again. So funny. I’ll agree with my brother when he says it’s the best pixar film to date. If you want to know more about it check out his journal, he did a really good review of it.

As for the rest of the day, we stopped at best buy in eau claire, and I got a new uv filter for my SLR since I broke the last one at fall retreat a couple weeks back. Went and chilled with some of the north hall cru gang. Also picked up a new mono-pod and the movie Elephant which is really well done. Little disturbing but at the same time the subject can’t be done without that. Gus van Sant did an amazing job with a very difficult subject. Some of the overlapping and perspectives are so beautifully rendered you barely notice that it wasn’t all filmed at the exact same time.

Not it’s Sunday and I’m avoiding more homework by writing this out listening to some franky blue eyes (kind of funny because it?s been about a year to the date since I listened to him last).

Praise the Lord for an amazing weekend! I feel as though the last couple weeks of mine have been so blessed, it’s unreal.

Keep seeking out God’s grace,
~paul

The last several days have been, not so sound over dramatic, AMAZING. Well since Sunday anyway. Sunday I was realizing that I needed to seek harder after Christ again in my life (could have something to do with Peter Haas’ sermon on Saturday night!) and was brought back to what I’ve really been focusing on the last couple months (for personal growth). Just prayed my little brains out best He could and wow. Things have been sooooo different this week. If anyone is wondering what to study start with prayer.

With pray a strong in your spiritual discipline you are seek out Christ so much easier and more effectively. It’s so hard to see people desiring so much for their lives, so much that God wants them to have, and see them unsure of how to attain it. Looking at it as thought it’s on display in a department store street window and they don’t have the money to buy it yet. Does not God own everything including the money you have and don’t have! You don’t have what you need because you’ve yet to either; ask for it (truly seeking God and believe in faith that he will answer your petition), don’t realize you need it, or haven’t asked correctly (the bible says that when you ask you HAVE received, so if you don?t receive it there must be something wrong in how you ask). Now onto yesterday!

so had D-time with Chris (room mate) and ben. Ben and me are doing a fast for a day and a half starting tomorrow. Then one of my friends at a different school was talking to be online as I was putting something together for Ben and I told her what I was doing. Now she is doing it as well! They both really just want to know God better and more personally and it’s sooooo awesome.

Then I went up to the rock to talk to jay about some girl stuff, bleh, but I get up there and they are kicking tom out of the house (tom has been kicked out of his house, this time he left, bad relationships with his family and a lot of personal baggage). They are kicking him out because he’s been there for two weeks and nothing has really changed in his life aside from him getting a job.

As jay and me are talking out back tom comes out after the guys of the house finish telling him he has to leave, he’s very broken down at this point and so we invite him over. God really calmed toms heart and talked through me to him, where he was at. After a couple hours we actually even came up with a good plan for what to do to get his life back on track so that he can serve the lord. Came up with a really good way to start to mend things with his family. Also has a very good approach to start to untangle his personal life so that he doesn’t need to be so dependant and can truly start giving to others. He’s really pretty excited. I saw him give that smile that you only see on someone’s face when they see hope and something that’s been gone for a long time

Then tonight was talking to Teal online and we got into our first really deep spiritual conversation after an off hand comment of mine where I said that “all she needed to do was stand up.” I went into more depth and God just gave us an amazing conversation. For some time now I’ve been praying and seeking for a way to explain to people the importance of seeking hard after Christ NOW rather then later. It’s quite awesome what God revealed to us, I’ll post it in a couple days (as, just like me, it is going through a refining process) on here. So yea, wow. Great day!

Keep living His blessing

Another week done, I’ve lost count of the days here. I spent a lot of time on the phone the last day or so. Called and talked to Mom and Kyle before they left for Mexico with the church on their mission trip (building three houses, pretty sweet), talked to Ryan for a while on Friday and then the best of all happened last night. Called up Kessia during her graduation open house and surprised her. I don’t think she thought I knew when her party was, let alone that I would do anything since I was in France at the time. She was kind of taken back when I said Bonjour the first time. It was nice to be able to do that for her, that girl deserves the best there is. I’m hoping that the rest of her party went well and that we’ll be able to talk sometime this week. There’s a lot I want to hear about and a lot I’m sure she wants to know about Toulouse and our ministry here.

Speaking of the topic of Toulouse, it’s been raining off and on. Last night we went out for Sarah VDL’s birthday and it was pouring rain for half the walk to Café de Sacha. The night was a blast, Sarah had a really good time, got a cake with a roman candle type firework lit on it (most amusing cake ever), and just was good after a long day. I might post some photos from that night in the random team photos later. On Thursday I did put up a photo of everyone on the team that kind of describes each of the team members, some better then others, but alas I did it. Took about 40 minutes but it was fun, so that’s ok then. Today has been a fast, slightly hungry but doing alright, and pizza is in about 90 minutes.

Now on to something more spiritual. To be honest this is how this journal is evolving. What is written here represents what I think of and where the path of my life is heading, and it will only become more spiritual. Just in case you were wondering.

I’ve been reading this amazing book (which I’ll talk more about once I finish it next Tuesday) and it’s really been good for me by increasing my understanding and desire for prayer. At the same time it’s really brought up some very good points for me at this time and place of my life. If you look at the previous post there is more about it there, just how my understanding of the spiritual world has increased so much, and I’m being able to see it more and more everyday and in everything. It’s a burden to carry but at the same time such a privilege. I’m working on my testimony at the moment and will post that later on, probably late this week or early next week (as I believe I’m telling it at our Wednesday soirée and then next week on Wednesday for the team). There are things that I’ve learned about myself that are so inspiring to the work set before me. The work that is for me to discover along the narrow path I am upon leading to the small gate. “For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many will enter through it” (-Matthew 7:13b)

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my father who is in heaven.” – Matthew 7:21

May your heat be blessed again with the start of tomorrow,
~paul