Paul Prins

It has been almost 8 weeks since my dad passed away and with the ALS walk coming up this Saturday I wanted to make sure that we had the audio from the Celebration of Life service available online.

Video Slide Show (no audio):

Eulogies

John Prins: Brother (5 minutes)

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Ryan Prins: Son (11 minutes)

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Paul Prins: Son (6 minutes)

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Kyle Prins: Son (10 minutes)

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Just got two phone calls from Bethel Seminary and I’ve been accepted!!

Now it is just a matter of figuring out the job situation for Jordan and I to learn if I’ll be starting January 7th, or not until March. As of now my guess is that I won’t be starting until march to give me some time to work, and decompress from the last 4.5 years of school before diving into another 3 for my masters.

This is really a great feeling. I’m continually getting more and more excited to start my courses at seminary and it’s so awesome to see God putting pieces in place for Jordan and I with the vision He has given us for church planting in France. Will post more as I learn about it.

You could own Midwestskier.com

Since 1999 the website Midwest Skier has dominated the online community of Midwest freestyle skiing. From it’s birth the community and subsequent partnerships with magazines, events, and even at times branching into event and video production had become the visible pulse of a much-neglected movement. MidwestSkier is now for sale.

It was the dream realized and pushed forward by Paul Prins who two years ago stepped down from major operations (including production, writing, filming, and photography). His professional and life ambitions have led him away from the world of skiing and the website has fallen into self-admitted neglect. I had thought that I could simply continue to manage content but that was just it, there was a lack of content stemming from issues around empowerment, ownership, and direction.

“In the years to come I will be increasingly involved in my upcoming marriage, studies, and work. If the community is to once again grow and flourish it needs to be passed off now,” Paul said recently when asked about the future of Midwest Skier.

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So there ya have it!! After all this time (OK, so nearly 22 years) I’ve been living it has happened. I found my wife and she said yes!!!

Jordan flew in last Saturday and we spent the week together. I actually asked her on Sunday but because we wanted to call people first I have resisted posting anything online here or elsewhere. So here is my first public announcement. Jordan Elise and I are gonna get hitched! Below is a short 6 minute video with some of the lead up to the engagement. I’m a hopeless romantic who did a decent job with all of this stuff (more than decent if ya ask Jordan).

Our Engagement Story

How the day unfolded

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At first this photo might seem a weird choice, until I tell you that it is the 10,000th photo taken with my digital SLR since i got it about 18 months ago. Thats not to shabby in terms of average photos a month. About half of them are online currently at my Flickr website (click on the photo).

About the Photo… We had a dinner with a lot of curried chicken and we had left overs in the kitchen (which we put on our sandwiches the next day for lunch), so Jolynn and I set them up like they were eating and each took our turn getting a picture taken with them! A lot of fun.

Inside everyone there is something that they don’t want others to know. They try to cover it up and hide it from those around them. There is something about them that if those people around them knew, those people closest to them would leave. So masks and facades are dawned to keep them from seeing into who I, and you, are. I hated who I was, I could have cared less about everything that happened around me. It was an art, to pretend that I was happy and that I cared about those around me when I truly wasn’t. At times it was only that game that kept me going through life.

As I reflect back upon my life it?s easy to see that I was depressed. There was a rut that I was stuck in, looking for satisfaction and fulfillment from the things of this world. So many times I would look to buying toys and gadgets to bring me joy, to make what I was doing in life seem worthwhile. Women were a tremendous comfort, to be able to have the impression that they were, somewhat, dependent upon me. In each relationship I felt needed and cared for. Then there was work, starting a production company at the age of sixteen in order to gain approval from my father and the world. Thinking that through financial success I would attain fulfillment.

Everything I did would work for a while. The toys would keep me entertained for a couple days, my girlfriends would give me a sense of purpose, and work would keep me striving for more. The only probably was that the more I was striving for wasn’t filling the void in my life. Eventually I was driven to the edge, attempting to slit my wrists one night in my room. That forced me to think through why I felt like such shit. I changed my life in effort to cure myself from the problems around me.

I turned my life around, leaving what I had known behind and starting off anew. This is when I started the production company, when I got a whole new group of friends, I met/dated/left several new girls, and left my old hobbies. I used to find such pleasure in playing the violin, in reading, in golf and now I was spending the majority of my time skiing and getting involved in art. I fell in love with photography and sculpture. My life had turned around and I had left that past life behind me. Turned my back upon a past I was in all too much of a hurry to bury and forget.

There were things brewing in my life that I couldn’t see. The masks I had dawned and the facades I had erected were not a fix. On May 20th two years later (junior year) the threads of my life untangled. Only problem was that I was more planned out this time. Realizing that I couldn’t do anything to my body I would put myself into a situation that I couldn’t escape. I was going to drive into the Minnesota River and wait inside the car till I drowned. As I was driving over to the river I happened to pass by my church, remembered Carissa, how she had asked me to come to youth group once, and how I agreed. This plan of mine was only to hurt myself, I decided to go so that she could feel as though I didn’t brush her off, or that she didn’t have to do more to get me to come because I knew it was important to her.

Very few things are as clear in my memory as watching rob running through the rain from his car into the church as I sat crying in mine. As the slow walk I took to the door, hoping the sopping rain would hide the tears on my face. Allowing me to dawn my mask once again. I remember sitting in the basement youth room feeling so removed from everything happening around me. At the same time, feeling this comfort and peace that I couldn’t ever remember feeling before. Remembering that the bible talked about God’s love and how He loved me no matter how screwed and sinful up I was. I asked God to accept me and that I would accept Him. The feeling of comfort grew till the point where I was smiling and it was genuine.

I recall the look upon my moms face as she scolded me for being gone for seven hours for a thirty-minute trip to the store. More vividly, the confused look on her face as I couldn’t get the smile off mine. In the two years that have followed things have changed. The satisfaction I spent so much of my time seeking is now here, and it isn’t in a need for toys or girlfriends or work. My comfort comes from something greater then I can explain. The depression that nearly took my life twice is all but gone along with the masks I once wore.

The masks that I used to wear to cover the brokenness and insecurities I held are gone. With the help of the Lord, who supplied the tools and strength, along with my time and work they have been removed and don’t need to be worn again. My identity is so secure in the Lord that I can wear everything I am on my sleeve. Everyday I learn more about my walk in faith, seeing more into the One who saved me from the darkness which veiled my eyes for to long.

For Immediate Release
4/27/04 15:13:10 CST

Paul Prins Steps Down From Midwest Skier

I, Paul Prins, am here by stepping down with my position at Midwest Skier. The website may be updated for next season, however I am now off the staff, and will not actively pursue event coverage/promotion/production.

The Midwest Skier Open has been postponed until further notice; any attempt to hold this event will result in legal action.

The website will now be maintained completely by the users/supporters of Midwest Skier. A section will be added allowing you to make donations, all website costs must be covered by donations. All print work and logos will be made public domain, allowing users to create/print/distribute the promotional material/s.

Paul Prins had this to say.

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This is something that, in all honesty, I have been avoiding for some time (see previous post). I have this weird gift where I am able to see where God needs me to be and I know how to get there, most of the time I can figure out why and make sense of the situation. For the past while I have been avoiding something because of the change that it would require, and to be honest I’m not completely sure all that change will entail but here I go.

There have been times in my life were I’ve tried so hard to misunderstand what God is telling me to do. It’s hard for me to fathom why he has me do certain things, and doing those is what creates faith. While I do live by and with my faith, I will admit it is a heck of a lot easier when I can figure out why He is telling me to do something. I understand why he has me be so caring and how it affects others and shows how he cares for them. I can see why he had me step up to be the bible study co-leader, to help the guys grow in their understanding of God and the purpose of their lives. I can understand why he placed me on the Evangelism Team, to help provide some leadership and to share my wisdom and understanding when I can. I can understand why he placed me in France this summer, to increase my dependence on Him and to push my evangelism even further in a culture that I hardly know (which should make it easier here, I hope). I can understand why he has me put so much pressure on myself, and how my enthusiasm has affected the others in the movement at stout.

I cannot see why he has me leaving skiing. I have tried for over eight months to understand and I can’t. I understood why I was doing what I did in skiing (with the videos, events, community building) to build experience and gain knowledge and I thought it was to reach out to them, to help them understand who He is and to be this example to follow. It made so much sense that I couldn’t see how it could be any other way, even if God was telling me something totally different. To the point where he tore everyone in skiing that I cared about from my life (aside from the Jones boys, but I understand my purpose there). Since last summer God has put it on my heart to stop and get out, I battled with Him all winter and it was to the point were I had all but turned my back to God on this area of my life, because I didn’t want him to touch it. I would let him do anything else with me but he had to leave skiing alone.

All it did was make me realize that, while I know everything there is to know about running events, I can’t do it without God and his presence. We didn’t have the on hill prayers I wanted to because my back was turned to him, and to bring prayer onto the hill would be to face God where I wanted him least. Since the event I’ve spent so much time in prayer trying to convince God to change his mind about where I’m headed, to no avail and it killed me inside to realize that, to realize how long I had ignored him. Looking back on opportunities that I’ve missed because of my desire to be right, to prove God wrong on my terms. It sounds to trite for me to be fighting with God like this.

On late Sunday night it was to a point where I stopped eating and started fasting to try one last time to sway Gods decision for me. I spent so much time in prayer talking to him and trying to make sense of why he should continue to bless me in skiing and let me stay here, where it is comfortable for me, where I seem to understand my purpose. Some thirty hours later I realize how stupid what I was doing truly was. So I broke my fast about half way through, wasn’t even hungry but it was just so pointless. Forcing me to start to accept this step of faith I need to take.

I know and understand what it is I need to do. Now is the time to start, I’m worried that to delay any longer could cause me to miss something which could completely change the life of someone else. While I don’t see being concerned about what you are doing as a bad thing, it can’t effect someone in the way this does and will. I can’t live feeling that I let someone else down because of my selfish behavior, it’s something I won’t put up with. There is more to this, but it is stuff that I feel like I shouldn’t be telling most, if anyone. In time you’ll know, but now I am listening with a willing heart.

I will walk with you and thank you for waiting on a heart that is longing to understand your plan and eager to do your will.

Take care and God bless,
~paul

Self Portrait from Summer 2002

Well this is a letter that I hope people find. In no way does it have anything to deal with suicide or any of that…

I am Depressed. I would have written a bigger ‘d’ but I know people that have been lower and I myself have been as well. It just boggles my mind how people don’t want to see what is so obvious. They just always try to blame it off on something else like the computer or skiing. How it makes me a less social person or how the people I’m around are a negative influence on my life. It is mostly my parents. Why can’t they see that they are my biggest problem. I pick up on so much. Hear them talk. It is destroying me. Why can’t they show their love for each other. I’m always hearing my mom’s rant on things she dislikes about dad. How he never fixes anything, doesn’t notice his own health, forgets little things that he should do, how he never calls her to let her know when he’ll be home. But my dad is also giving off signs. The silent moments at the dinner table, inactivity at home, not willing to help around the house.

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I guess you should be slightly suspicious of a blog the very next day, since I have been slacking of late. Tonight has sucked, there really isn’t any better way I could word it (and several worse that I’ll omit).

I was just wrapping up eating dinner, which was turning out to be an amazing meal. Went with a couple friends and they were serving really good food for a change. To add to it she was there tonight, walked past her in the commons stopped over and talked for a minute, not more then a couple minutes after I got back to my table and took a swig of milk did my phone ring. Answered it and talked to Chris Jones, let him know I got the weekend in Duluth set up for him and he was taken back. Leaving me very confused as to what is going on, proceeded to ask what was and found out what happened last Saturday.

One of my biggest mentors, John Koskinen (worked for ESPN and NFL films), past away from a heart attack on Saturday. I had to have been in shock for at least a half an hour before the harsh reality hit me. He was such a vital part of forming me to who I am today. Before him I can’t think of anyone who truly had followed his heart and passion. He was a shining example that it does work, that you can look forward to your work, even if at times it got hard to be gone so much. When it seemed like I didn’t have a clue what I was doing with my camera he would show me, he had some way of just having it all make sense. He kept me motivated through the first film, telling me what I needed to be doing all along the way.

Indirectly Jon is a core reason why I’ve been able to accomplish so much. Every time I would get one step of the process done he was asking me when the next one would be ready to check out. Not to mention how he always seemed to show up on the most ideal days to film for us, and from watching his footage I learned a lot about composition and different ways to follow with the camera. Without a doubt, every time I touch a camera I will be reminded of him and what he did for me so generously.

He was an amazing man, please pray for his family and friends in this hard time.

Take Care and May God look over Jon’s soul,
~paul