So I was just thinking back through my previous relationship and I got to wondering if I could have been played. If I had been taken advantage of with my generosity. I so often read people correctly; my first impression of you is normally very accurate as to your personality and potential. The more that I reflect the more I feel like I have been cheated. The more I look into what is happening now and contrast against the past I see that it never would have worked. My conclusions always seem to come back to one main idea, the idea that I felt and could sense two months ago but that I sheepishly thought I could help with.
The more I look back I see things that I was blind to at the time. I see signals that I should have heeded instead of rationalized. I see conections that I made that shouldnt have crossed my mind, I see myself falling away from God because of her.
Now I see it slightly differently, I see a girl who is scared of what is ahead of her. I see someone who is willing to start something but not stick through it. I see myself having pity on her for some reason I cant explain. I see her in my mind everyday that passes. Mostly I see a girl who is unsure of herself, who lacks the vision to look into the mirror and see what really is there. Someone who doesnt realize everything she posses and is scared to confront issues she can avoid. So I guess I shouldnt complain that it didnt work out because in that sense we are opposites, I confront every issue that comes to be head on with as much as it takes to make it through successfully. She has the next four years of her life to figure it out, and I have the next four years to find someone who has.