From the Inside out and then…

This is the conclusion of the previous entry (the one before the poem) and I highly encourage that you read that before reading this entry. Once you?ve read it or glanced over it to refresh yourself please read this in its entirety. The poem was pretty good too? I like poetry, but I digress and shall press onward.
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I left the previous entry with a cautionary note entering into dating relationships. Quickly to recap the reasoning; each person has to define themselves with who they are and what their abilities and characteristics are before they attach themselves to another person (who, if they aren?t defined, will start to define who they are).

If you?ve grasped onto and are looking towards change that is what this post in about. From the Inside Out, how we are affect by our thoughts and our actions and how they determine who we are. So often in life you hear about people who wish that they were different or saw everything in different light/attitude, The only hindrance to those feeling and longings is an understanding of how the transformation takes place, how we move from who we are toward who we see ourselves as. Once we have that understand and are closer to who we wish to be and see ourselves becoming that person more and more each day then it is alright to watch for possible relationships.

In an idealistic relationship each person would compliment the other, where one would have weaknesses the other stands strong and supportive. Helping both in the couple push forward in becoming better and stronger people. Allowing them to accomplish more and more as their lives progress together. That through complimenting each other they become more reliant on each other in a healthy way, they come to each other when they need to encouraged and reaffirmed, not propped up and defined.

When each one of the couple knows where their strong points are and where their partners? strong points are, then they have a power to accomplish so much more, and to be more successful at it. If it?s when you?re raising children or going on/planning trips, knowing where each person should support the other is very important.

If you are in a relationship when you aren?t defined as a person, prior to entering that relationship, the system described above will not work. You?ll find yourself defining yourself utilizing the other person, as I have in the past, and then are unsure of where and how you truly fit into the relationship. You?re only sure that you desire it because it helps you to understand who you are. When it is a definition of yourself it is not allow you to give selflessly all you have for the other person, because you need them. You can not give everything to someone that you need so much from, you will only be giving back what they are giving you.

To be completely honest I am not the most, well, versed on this subject, I can only speak of what I?ve done wrong in the past and my understanding of why it was incorrect and infer what is. This is a logically based argument based on my beliefs and experiences. I hope someday that my hopelessly romantic heart will find someone who will allow me to treat them how I see myself treating them. Giving all of everything I can for them, and them in return, to the point where we become equally balanced and unified in our understanding and vision. Then, at that point, there won?t be much of anything that could get in our way towards wherever we wanted to go or be. All of course hypothetical, as I?m single at the moment and no where close to marrying anyone anytime soon, though I am completely sure that.

The poem I wrote a earlier this month (posted right before this entry) regards what is necessary for the change to take place. To take time for yourself, to discover where you stand and what you believe in and furthermore, your strengths and weaknesses. We all have them and should pull in and grasp them (weaknesses) rather then push them away. I ended the piece showing that the world will not see you as changed, that even when you look in the mirror from day to day you will appear to be the same person, but inside your heart and mind tell a different story. That even you will see the same person, but to not get discouraged because change is taking place and to hold onto that truth and not be scared to be who you shall become. Even if the world is not seemingly ready for it.

The world we live in does not like change.

In essence the poem is about me and the distance I had to put between those types of relationships and watching them from a distance. Even though I cared so much for those around me and the person who I was involved with (?I saw you there floating despair, out of reach, unable to care.?) I had to take that time for myself and let the ?world fly by? so that I could become who I am destined to be. Making myself close my eyes on who I thought I was, so that I could open my eyes to who I am and see what needed to be done to get where I wanted to be. Knowing that while I was in a relationship I wouldn?t be able to focus the time I needed to in order to strengthen my relationship with God and being able to get Him more involved in my day to day life. Taking that time away has been one of the best things I?ve ever done (did it twice, once to help through depression and once to get closer to God. Both times discovering more about who I am and want to be).

Take care and God bless,
~paul