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Is it really today?

So the event is past, I’m glad it’s over and not sure if I’m doing another. I know I would say that with more confidence but last year I said the exact same thing. As of right now, just trying to get all the follow up work done and out the door as well as catching up on the school work that is due next week (yes I really have a fourteen foot drawing to make and two wood blocks to cut out). Aside from work there have been two things on my mind today.

Friends and those people whom I can truly trust and in return trust me. When I got my mail today I got the coolest thing I’ve ever gotten in the mail. A friend of mine from Illinois sent me a letter. Totally out of the blue, she said it was for “Appreciate your friends day,” some holiday she made up. I have kind of forgotten how good it feels to be thanked for the kind of person you are, for doing something as simple as listening to what she has going on. Thank you soooo much sarah! You made my day.

There was one thing that through me slightly at the end of the letter she wrote thanks for being constant. I looked it up and I guess one definition makes sense, as it means always present or available, but the standard connotation means staying the same, being faithful and the such. It’s just hard for me to be told that because I know that I don’t always feel it constantly inside. I love people and want, more then anything, for them to understand who they are and to be overjoyed with that. But spiritually I have ups and downs, sometimes over days, or even hours. Times where I feel like the worst roll model out there.

Midwest Skier Open!
Ah the other thing on my mind today, the event is done and again we didn’t have any injuries during the event? That is only during the event. I feel horrible because two guys got hit in their car on Friday night, Dan and Erik. I’ve been trying to stay in the loop with what’s up, although I do realize that it’s really none of my business, I just want them to get better. It’s funny because I never thought I would care this much about something happening this weekend at my event with two total strangers.

Also for the first time I spent time during the event talking to people, I guess it’s just me trying to figure out where my place really is in the scene and industry around here. My priorities have shifted on me and I’ve caught myself becoming more cynical, although that word seems a tad harsh for my true sentiments, towards the skiing scene. Seeing people in it for self-advancement and the selfless attitudes that once existed are now waning away. Maybe it’s a harsh realization that the world is now how I truly wish it to be, and realizing that my reason for being involved is not one I feel comfortable with. I’ve been told people see my faith in the work I do, that the athletes really respect me, but I still feel like I should be doing more.

People are beautiful, I think I’m going to do a larger project on that at some point, all to often people completely miss the awe that is in their presence. I know I wrote an entry about this but I don’t think I was truly able to capture what I wanted too. Hopefully I’ll have some time coming up to work on it, I really want to do an out of school project. Also had the idea tonight to focus on your last moment, how you would spend it. So two ideas floating around. We’ll see and I’ve written to much.

avec l’amour et la bénédiction de Dieu,
~paul