Sorry I know this one isnt a poem of mine, but its a post none the less.
Tonight was some time in the making I gather. Stacey came over after spending the evening with her mom and we had some time to talk. I finally told her a bunch of things I had been waiting to say to her, I wish I could put this better into words than I am. The only problem with me telling her tonight was that it was the last night. I knew it was coming, I could feel her slowly pulling herself away to make it easier and I just kept on keeping on holding onto the fading hope that I had. I guess there still is some, but I am past the point of pulling on it, if it is meant to be it will return on its own and we both will know it.
Ive been thinking about why I told her everything that I did, I guess it is so that I can move on without guilt and less regrets, if we do end up getting closer again because I finally told her some things thats cool and Ill have to see how I feel about it at that time. I wish I could describe how I feel better; its partly shock (even though I knew it was going to happen), disbelief, confusion, sadness, expectation (not sure how it fits in but I can feel it, maybe for whats to happen next), relief (shes finally told me how she feels about certain things), happy (I know it doesnt fit but for the second time tonight I felt her care for me as she wiped a tear from my face, kind of ironic isnt it), and Im trying to process everything.
I am disappointed that I wont have someone to do certain things with, someone to go on day trips with, someone to see movies with, someone to surprise (although I didnt as much as I wanted to), and someone to care about like I did with her. At this point I can sense that Im ranting on and on. I only have one last thing to say and I hope you got this tonight, I had made a connection and maybe I shed some light on the extent of it before we parted ways. I look forward to hearing from you sweetie.
Take Care and God Bless,