I don’t deserve this

The last several days have been, not so sound over dramatic, AMAZING. Well since Sunday anyway. Sunday I was realizing that I needed to seek harder after Christ again in my life (could have something to do with Peter Haas’ sermon on Saturday night!) and was brought back to what I’ve really been focusing on the last couple months (for personal growth). Just prayed my little brains out best He could and wow. Things have been sooooo different this week. If anyone is wondering what to study start with prayer.

With pray a strong in your spiritual discipline you are seek out Christ so much easier and more effectively. It’s so hard to see people desiring so much for their lives, so much that God wants them to have, and see them unsure of how to attain it. Looking at it as thought it’s on display in a department store street window and they don’t have the money to buy it yet. Does not God own everything including the money you have and don’t have! You don’t have what you need because you’ve yet to either; ask for it (truly seeking God and believe in faith that he will answer your petition), don’t realize you need it, or haven’t asked correctly (the bible says that when you ask you HAVE received, so if you don?t receive it there must be something wrong in how you ask). Now onto yesterday!

so had D-time with Chris (room mate) and ben. Ben and me are doing a fast for a day and a half starting tomorrow. Then one of my friends at a different school was talking to be online as I was putting something together for Ben and I told her what I was doing. Now she is doing it as well! They both really just want to know God better and more personally and it’s sooooo awesome.

Then I went up to the rock to talk to jay about some girl stuff, bleh, but I get up there and they are kicking tom out of the house (tom has been kicked out of his house, this time he left, bad relationships with his family and a lot of personal baggage). They are kicking him out because he’s been there for two weeks and nothing has really changed in his life aside from him getting a job.

As jay and me are talking out back tom comes out after the guys of the house finish telling him he has to leave, he’s very broken down at this point and so we invite him over. God really calmed toms heart and talked through me to him, where he was at. After a couple hours we actually even came up with a good plan for what to do to get his life back on track so that he can serve the lord. Came up with a really good way to start to mend things with his family. Also has a very good approach to start to untangle his personal life so that he doesn’t need to be so dependant and can truly start giving to others. He’s really pretty excited. I saw him give that smile that you only see on someone’s face when they see hope and something that’s been gone for a long time

Then tonight was talking to Teal online and we got into our first really deep spiritual conversation after an off hand comment of mine where I said that “all she needed to do was stand up.” I went into more depth and God just gave us an amazing conversation. For some time now I’ve been praying and seeking for a way to explain to people the importance of seeking hard after Christ NOW rather then later. It’s quite awesome what God revealed to us, I’ll post it in a couple days (as, just like me, it is going through a refining process) on here. So yea, wow. Great day!

Keep living His blessing


FR: Hidden Blessings Abound

Another week done, I’ve lost count of the days here. I spent a lot of time on the phone the last day or so. Called and talked to Mom and Kyle before they left for Mexico with the church on their mission trip (building three houses, pretty sweet), talked to Ryan for a while on Friday and then the best of all happened last night. Called up Kessia during her graduation open house and surprised her. I don’t think she thought I knew when her party was, let alone that I would do anything since I was in France at the time. She was kind of taken back when I said Bonjour the first time. It was nice to be able to do that for her, that girl deserves the best there is. I’m hoping that the rest of her party went well and that we’ll be able to talk sometime this week. There’s a lot I want to hear about and a lot I’m sure she wants to know about Toulouse and our ministry here.

Speaking of the topic of Toulouse, it’s been raining off and on. Last night we went out for Sarah VDL’s birthday and it was pouring rain for half the walk to Café de Sacha. The night was a blast, Sarah had a really good time, got a cake with a roman candle type firework lit on it (most amusing cake ever), and just was good after a long day. I might post some photos from that night in the random team photos later. On Thursday I did put up a photo of everyone on the team that kind of describes each of the team members, some better then others, but alas I did it. Took about 40 minutes but it was fun, so that’s ok then. Today has been a fast, slightly hungry but doing alright, and pizza is in about 90 minutes.

Now on to something more spiritual. To be honest this is how this journal is evolving. What is written here represents what I think of and where the path of my life is heading, and it will only become more spiritual. Just in case you were wondering.

I’ve been reading this amazing book (which I’ll talk more about once I finish it next Tuesday) and it’s really been good for me by increasing my understanding and desire for prayer. At the same time it’s really brought up some very good points for me at this time and place of my life. If you look at the previous post there is more about it there, just how my understanding of the spiritual world has increased so much, and I’m being able to see it more and more everyday and in everything. It’s a burden to carry but at the same time such a privilege. I’m working on my testimony at the moment and will post that later on, probably late this week or early next week (as I believe I’m telling it at our Wednesday soirée and then next week on Wednesday for the team). There are things that I’ve learned about myself that are so inspiring to the work set before me. The work that is for me to discover along the narrow path I am upon leading to the small gate. “For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many will enter through it” (-Matthew 7:13b)

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my father who is in heaven.” – Matthew 7:21

May your heat be blessed again with the start of tomorrow,


As the Words Evade Me

It’s awesome how after a night where everything seems to go right, you mind can’t seem to form a thought that is coherent because you’re so overrun that your mind isn’t able to focus on one thing for more then a moment.

Tonight I got out of the house and went up and had Coffee (well she had chai tea which was much better then my coffee) with Rachel. It was simply amazing, I wish I could put it into better words but the fact that I’m sitting here almost an hour and a half later not really sure what I could write about should say something.

It was so nice to sit down with someone and find out that we had so much in common, we spent three hours sitting uptown just talking (as it only took about half an hour to finish our drinks) and commenting on whatever came to mind. We’re going out again on Saturday and hopefully it will be another great evening together.

I’m going to try to get some sleep now so that I can wake up and have Kessia Day! I’ve really missed her at school, one of the few people from back home that I’ve missed. Lately I’ve been feeling so blessed and I hope that you all are able to feel the same.

Take care and God bless,


Welcome to Spring Break

Unlike winter break I am really looking forward to getting home. I have had a sudo-stressful quarter, well what stress is for me because most people don’t seem to think I feel like I’m ever under stress but whatever. Just catching up on the work load after the event. Finally I’m discovering that I have time for myself.

I guess it really won’t be much of a break, more of a chance for me to catch up on other things that I don’t have time to do during school. Need to get a site made up for this summer in France, do the support letters for that, and then going to hang out a lot. I told Justin Jones that I would help him out with some of his Skadi stuff and should really get on that as well. Should really get a passport photo taken as well as get my hair cut.

There are also the fun parts of break, getting to hang out with different people. Going to spend some time with Kessia, Rachel, Phil and duno who all else yet. Will be a very good break for me though. Get away from Stout for a little while at least… although I still will be working on my drawings…

Take care and God bless,