One of the hardest truths to accept is that a monster exists within me. It’s difficult because this monster hibernates most of my life. Nearly every step I take is done in my right mind during sane moments. There are moments when the monster feels as though it doesn’t even exist. As my heart is wrenched with compassion or overflowing with love it becomes incomprehensible this beast is there, slumbering.

Yet there – dormant and waiting – is darkness and violence with me, within all of us. Its my ancestral baggage hidden and pressed down into the deepest and most obtuse corners of my being. The further down it is pressed the more refined I see myself, and the more I believe I have overcome the monster within me. At any moment the tables could turn, and a situation I find myself thrust into, awakens this monster I believed never existed.

When I see this monster let loose in others upon the world I must remind myself to be careful about that which slumbers within me, and all of us. Taking a moment to know that there is good in the face of evil and that there is space to forgive those overtaken by that which slumbers. I must remember that if my monster ever awakens there are people who excel at coaxing monsters back into hibernation, and in seeking help there is no shame.

The only shame is to lose ones self to hate, and that shame all too often turns to tragedy.

Photo Credit: FailedImitator


Woods Canyon Lake Pano

As I look to learn more of God in scripture I come to discover that his character is unchanging. That there is no more room for Him to be loving, compassionate, patient, and graceful. It is in the very core of God this unchanging and undying reality that many find comfort and rest.

Yet for his steadfast and consistency everywhere I look God demands that we continually be changed, humbled, and transformed. This world will never be made perfect, and I will be changing for all eternity with His character as the trajectory which I am to, every so slowly, step into.

To be there is nothing more beautiful than this messy and demanding process. For I do not believe love to be easy, hope to be free of duty, or grace to be easy to accept. For I find myself standing on my own path, fighting myself so that I can live into everything that God has before me.

Photo Credit: g’pa bill


A late post on a friday evening. I’d encourage you to take 10 minutes and really listen to and connect with a sweet man from Siguatepeque, Honduras.


Remembering Mike Prins

It has been almost 8 weeks since my dad passed away and with the ALS walk coming up this Saturday I wanted to make sure that we had the audio from the Celebration of Life service available online.

Video Slide Show (no audio):



John Prins: Brother (5 minutes) [audio:|titles=John Prins Eulogy]

Ryan Prins: Son (11 minutes) [audio:|titles=Ryan Prins Eulogy]

Paul Prins: Son (6 minutes) [audio:|titles=Paul Prins Eulogy]

Kyle Prins: Son (10 minutes) [audio:|titles=Kyle Prins Eulogy]

[Read more…]