My Heart is Weak

My heart is weak. Yesterday a man overcome by evil killed scores with a truck in Nice, France. I’ve grown tired of being surprised, shocked, or acting as though the attack was unexpected. This is a sad reality of our world today. That a 24-hour news cycle hunts for tragedies affecting a group of people to grab daily attention, and that they have no trouble finding them.

bastille-day-eiffel-towerAs I stood watching the fireworks cascade off the Eiffel Tower last night for Bastille Day I was struck in a new way that I really live here. That the millions of people in Paris are closer to me now than the family I grew up with. I felt pride for the French, and love that I am here with them. I left the park with over a hundred thousand others making our way to the metro to head home. Once home we saw what happened in Nice and waited for more news to trickle in before heading to bed. [Read more…]


In Solidarity with Us


It’s almost incomprehensible that the cosmic God of all things could allow evil to be inflicted upon others. As bombs explode, buildings crumble, seas rush in, or bullets tear through streets we ask questions of a God who seems disinterested and distant. We’ve been told that we’re exceptional in Gods eyes and have taken this to mean that evil will pass us over, but we know it does not.

Darkness marches forward violently confronting light everywhere. [Read more…]



One of the hardest truths to accept is that a monster exists within me. It’s difficult because this monster hibernates most of my life. Nearly every step I take is done in my right mind during sane moments. There are moments when the monster feels as though it doesn’t even exist. As my heart is wrenched with compassion or overflowing with love it becomes incomprehensible this beast is there, slumbering.

Yet there – dormant and waiting – is darkness and violence with me, within all of us. Its my ancestral baggage hidden and pressed down into the deepest and most obtuse corners of my being. The further down it is pressed the more refined I see myself, and the more I believe I have overcome the monster within me. At any moment the tables could turn, and a situation I find myself thrust into, awakens this monster I believed never existed.

When I see this monster let loose in others upon the world I must remind myself to be careful about that which slumbers within me, and all of us. Taking a moment to know that there is good in the face of evil and that there is space to forgive those overtaken by that which slumbers. I must remember that if my monster ever awakens there are people who excel at coaxing monsters back into hibernation, and in seeking help there is no shame.

The only shame is to lose ones self to hate, and that shame all too often turns to tragedy.

Photo Credit: FailedImitator